Selflessness in a Strip Club

Striptonomicon
Aug 22, 2017 · 5 min read
The robe billowing in the breeze on a night out long ago

At Upstaged {my more show girl style club}, sometimes I wear this long, magnificent vintage sheer robe with dragons all over it. It flows like a dream and makes me feel like a high elf. It’s great. When I pair it with a white wig, I could be Legolas’s slutty sister.

I stepped on main stage, robe flowing, and this woman sitting amongst a gaggle of girls at my stage let out an audible gasp and clapped her hands excitedly.

“Oh my god she’s my favorite! She looks like an alien princess!” she exclaimed and I winked at her. Over the course of my two songs on stage, I established that it was her birthday and that she had seen me wafting about the club and had been looking forward to seeing me dance. Her enthusiasm was both infectious and endearing, enough to give me the energy to actually interact with patrons after my set.

It is common courtesy among strippers to not steal patrons off a stage. For example, the birthday girl who had been very interested in me stayed at the stage when I was done. It would be supremely rude to approach her and try and hustle her while another dancer is performing. Instead, an unassuming young man with a friendly face who had placed a few dollars down at my stage before returning to his table was my target. As best I could tell, he was sitting alone and I could tell my performance had been engaging to him though he was not at my rack.

“Is this seat taken?” I asked.

“No, no, not at all, please sit!” he replied, pulling the chair out for me. I parked myself down and accepted his offer for a drink {amaretto sour} as we chitchatted as he nursed a beer. Jovial, pleasant, without the airs of many insecure, blustering men who come into my clubs, we talked about where he was from, if he had been to Upstaged before, etc.

“You know, this place feels pretty different than other strip clubs. There seem to be a lot more women in here than I’d have expected. Is it pretty….queer friendly?” he inquired. I was surprised at this observation: no one before and no one since has asked about how queer friendly that or any club I work at is. Coming from a dude in a sports cap and bright orange polo, he was either queer himself without immediately flagging queer or just really observant and caring. I’d wager the latter, for reasons that’ll become clear in a second.

“Yeah, a lot of the dancers are queer and active in the local queer community so this tends to be a pretty forward thinking, feminist and queer friendly place,” I responded, sucking down the liquid equivalent to a liquor-filled bon bon- same sweetness, same marginal alcoholic content.

We chatted a bit more and as the girl on stage finished up, sweeping her money into a pile, the birthday girl turned around from the rack and looked at me and beamed again.

“Seems like she was really into you,” he said. “When you got off stage, she was freaking out and saying that you’re her favorite dancer here.”

“Yeah, her enthusiasm is endearing. Apparently it’s her birthday.”

He thought for a second. “So how much are lap dances?”

I told him and he thought again for a second.

“Can I maybe buy her a dance or two from you?”

“Absolutely! But really if you’re in the market for two, maybe just get her one and then get one for yourself,” I said warmly, trying to hide my surprise. We agreed that I’d give her a dance first and then come collect him. Just before the next girl got on stage, I tapped the woman on the shoulder.

“Pardon the interruption but that gentleman over there bought you a birthday lap dance from me. Would you like to go now or would you like to wait?” I said as she beamed up at me.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Let’s go now!” She turned to her friends and said, “some guy bought me a dance with the alien princess, I’ll be right back!” as they smiled and nodded excitedly.

Taking a customer from the stage is tricky business but to be courteous, I ask if they want to go now or wait and if they seem unsure or opt to wait, I let them know where I’ll be standing {often within sight} when they are ready. I NEVER do this any time other than between dancers.

Anyways, the birthday girl seemed super hyped to be getting her very first lap dance from me and I remember us talking lightly and bonding. She kept telling me how beautiful I was and I told her she was absolutely gorgeous too. It never matters if a femme customer is my type or not, if they’re nice, then I’m going to tell them they’re beautiful. Because they are. As the song ended, I gave her a gentle peck on the lips and grabbed her soft hand, helping her up and back to where her friends were waiting. As I walked away, I could hear her chatting animatedly to her friends and her joy was palpable. As I reached the guy who bought the dance’s table, he was smiling and she turned and waved at him by way of thanks.

“Happy birthday,” he said, raising his glass. The girls returned their attention to the stage and he turned his to me. I held out my hand and led him back to the booths.

“You know,” I said, stroking his hair, “I’ve never seen anyone do something that kind and selfless here. You really just made her night.”

He shrugged humbly. “I do what I can. Wasn’t a big deal, she seemed to really like you and it’s her birthday so why not.”

After the dance we parted ways but I kept an eye on him until he left. Not once did he try to approach the birthday girl and her group or try to get their attention. It still blows my mind that a total stranger would just buy someone a lap dance to make their birthday a little bit better with no apparent ulterior motive. I honestly hope wherever he is, he’s happy and that people treat him with the same kindness. Whenever I have days where customers are rude or disrespectful or difficult, I think back on that night and let it warm me. Genuine selfless kindness exists. Not every day is awful.

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Striptonomicon
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