Not all people are able to express their emotions in healthy ways. Oftentimes people tend to bottle up their feelings rather than express them. Bottling up your emotions can lead to feeling even worse, and reacting out of anger may hurt those around you. Crying sounds like an easy enough solution, but people feel vulnerable when they cry. The best time to cry for people who feel uncomfortable crying around others would be before you rest. That way, you can sleep and feel better in the morning.
For clarification, crying is not bad. Crying is your body’s natural response to an emotional state that can be caused by any emotion, whether that be happiness, sadness, or even anger. All people cry. Men cry. Women cry. The young and the old cry. Society as whole views crying as weak, as letting your emotions get the best of you and not being able to control yourself. People look down on men, especially for crying, due to the toxic masculinity belief that men are supposed to be strong all the time. Men are human just like everyone else; they, too, have emotions. Crying is not a form of weakness. You are strong if you can admit your own feelings and deal with them in a healthy way. Here are some tips and tricks when crying yourself to sleep:
<1> Finding a Good Spot
Move yourself to a cozy, quiet room. This room should be somewhere that is private for you, where no interruptions to your upcoming cry session will come. Try and make yourself as comfortable as you can be. Bring a pillow or blanket if you need it. An ideal spot could be your own room, with the door shut and locked and the windows closed. If you know your family does not understand knocking before they enter, put a sign around your doorknob or ask for some alone time in advance.
<2> Clearing Your Area of Distractions
Just like if you were in class, your phone can be a distraction. That television remote connecting to the TV right across from your bed can be a distraction. Your computer or tablet that is within arm’s reach can be a distraction. You should be taking time to clear your mind, not lying down and scrolling through TikTok. Before you start your session, you should mentally prepare yourself as best you can. Bring something comfortable to lie with, like a blanket and pillow. Your goal is not just to cry but to feel better about yourself afterward.
<3> Reflect on Your Feelings
What happened from your perspective? Think of the exact order of events and each event that occurred. In the beginning, how did you feel? Did you wake up that day in a bad mood? Did you feel irritated because you didn’t have breakfast? Next, what happened to make you feel sad? Really dig deep with this question too. The surface-level answer may be “I felt like my friends were ignoring me,” but the deeper answer may be, “I feel like this friend group doesn’t actually view me as a true friend, nor do they care about my feelings.” How did you react to the thing that made you feel the way you felt? Did you initially respond out of anger?
<4> Consider Other Viewpoints
What happened from the perspective of those around you? Did they recognize that you felt upset? Did they know you were feeling upset with them? Did they understand how they made you feel? Could they tell you were feeling neglected and ignored, or did they view you as angry at something else entirely? Did you explain your perspective to the people that hurt you? Would explaining your perspective even change anything? How might you be able to resolve your feelings if you communicate with them? This may help you solve the underlying problem and, later on, allow you to handle it more maturely and objectively without lashing out.
<5> Let the Tears Flow
You should be crying throughout this whole process, but this is when you let your tears flow again after reflection. Although, with all this thinking, you haven’t really given yourself the time to feel your emotions. Do it now, after you’ve entirely reflected on the situation and why it made you feel the way you felt. Let it all out. It is okay. Nobody is watching. Curl up in the warm comfort of your blanket and pillow.
<6> Comfort Yourself
After a good cry session, you’re going to need a pick me up. You shouldn’t dwell in your sadness for too long. If you do, you might end up ignoring your needs. Sometimes it is good to distract yourself if there is no clear solution to immediately solve your problem.
<7> Go To Sleep
After you’ve done all this preparing, thinking, crying, and comforting, you should be really tuckered out. You should really get some rest. There is nothing else you can do at this moment but sleep, and you need to sleep. I wish you goodnight, sweet dreams, and restful sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.
