“There must be a beginning of any great matter, but the continuing unto the end until it be thoroughly finished yields the true glory.” — Francis Drake
These past two weeks have been rough. Since I decided to choose courses which will keep me busy all throughout the semester, it comes as no surprise that I have been very busy. Thankfully I have adjusted to the workload so far. Although, within these weeks have been the first round of quizzes, tests, examinations, and projects. Having multiple projects and upcoming tests while trying to juggle the homework and other assignments is difficult. I have been wanting to go somewhere and have fun with friends but we’ve never really found a time that works for everyone. I still need to work on my study habits but I am thankful that I have been improving recently as I was able to get the scores I was aiming for on most of my assessments. I’m getting back on track and getting used to taking notes during class, instead of sleeping behind a computer screen at home.
I have spent the majority of my time compiling my notes and studying for assessments. Note taking is one of my strong suits, I am able to understand the material taught when I write and revise my notes. I usually am the type to write pages and pages of notes on a topic, then go back and highlight details within my notes to make them even more concise and specific. I haven’t been able to read or write as often as I’d have liked. I visited my local library for the first time since quarantines, and the first time by myself. It was very nostalgic, the atmosphere, the smell, the quietness. Those things I really cannot recreate at home. I picked up a book to check out. I thought it would take me a couple days to finish it but I ended up finishing it in a few hours. It was already late at that point to go back to the library so I have to remember to return that book before October 5th. I have also started on the application process for college as well, which I mentioned in my previous labor reflection. Just last night I was up until 4 am completing a scholarship application. For that application I had to write multiple essays and responses to questions they asked, varying from 800 words to only 50. Soon, I will be applying to colleges through the Common application. Hopefully all goes well.
I would rate my overall labor as a 4 out of 4. I’m pretty proud of myself for getting through these past weeks and I actually have put a lot of effort into my work. Especially since I did complete a lot of work in preparation for upcoming projects and assessments. That work has paid off, thankfully, and I am extremely happy. I had to expend a great amount of effort to complete it, that is why my rating is a 4 out of 4. In my expository writing class in particular, I would say reading pages and pages of articles, annotating, and writing in response to prompts given has taken effort to complete. Also, my professor has recently assigned a project with several different parts within another ongoing project that the class hadn’t finished yet. The previous project also had several parts that needed completion. Juggling two major projects as well as my other classes is extremely difficult, and its honestly too much work.
The intensity and engagement of my labor has a rating of 4out of 4 for me. I feel as if during these few weeks the intensity of my courses has exponentially increased compared to how it had been so far. I also feel as if I could have put in more effort to achieve the standard of work and grades that I wanted. I have continued feeling unmotivated, and I believe the reason for this is because I feel like the work I’m being assigned has no value in my life. I am not learning anything, I’m only memorizing, regurgitating information, and stressing over the piles and piles of work my teachers assign. The assignments and writings I have submitted so far are still acceptable, but they aren’t anything of substance, at least to me. I have been engaged in my classes but I feel like I’m still missing something that is needed for me to succeed.
For the meaning produced from my labor, I would rate this a 1 out of 4. My coursework definitely feels like “busy-work.” I am not interested in anything we have been covering so far. I was excited for an upcoming project, but that was ruined by the amount of extra work attached to the actual project. I feel like the directions were also very unclear, and the standard of writing was not clearly defined. This project has not really allowed me to learn anything about myself as a reader or writer, nor has it taught me anything about becoming a better writer and reader. I feel like my classes have become unnecessarily stressful to the point where I don’t gain anything meaningful nor do I actually learn something useful. Even in my classes where I’m totally immersed in the subject, I feel like I can’t enjoy the learning itself because I’m buried behind the threat of performative grades.
