As a design studio owner, December was always one of the most stressful months of the year. It inevitably was a messy mix of cramming in the final client projects of the year, figuring out just how much money to spend to balance out the tax load of the year while simultaneously trying to book projects with clients for the new year. All of this while balancing the business operations so I could do things like… make payroll or… eat. With all of the chaos, it was also important to me as a leader of our team to focus on the outlook for the new year.
December was a time to develop a clear, concise mantra for the upcoming year. One of these I remember in particular was the mantra of ‘Fewer and better opportunities’ which meant that we Sputnik wasn’t going to take on every project that came to us and we were going to emphasize the quality of our engagements over the finances. These yearly mantras were helpful guiding lights that usually came as a reaction to the things that went wrong the year before.
At the end of 2014, I was finding myself gravitating towards the mantra of “Heads down. Just do the work.” I had spent 2014 working to grow my design studio, which meant doing a lot of things that were investments for the future. To put it mildly, it was a chaotic year full of sacrifice that had my focus on many things other than doing design work. Heading into 2015, I was looking forward to a year that would be more calm and free of major changes or transitions.
That quote about best laid plans? Yea. It’s true. Things hardly ever work out exactly how you plan them. The year that I thought I would spend focusing on doing good work for good clients turned into the biggest transition year of my life. I remember distinctly telling a few friends last January that 2015 would be a year of no major changes.
Here’s the highlight reel of just how off I was:
I moved
My family had outgrew our 900 sq. ft. nest and we had to find something else before we all started fighting each other. Shopping in a busy real estate market was an adventure and took about three months of planning, consideration, Redfin and agony. Moving is tough enough… moving with two kids was insane.
I said goodbye
This is easily the worst thing about 2015. On May 21st, I lost my Grandmother, Ruby Lee Smith. Ruby Lee is the namesake of my daughter Ruby and the last grandparent I was very close to. This wasn’t an unexpected thing, but that didn’t make it easy. I’m thankful for her 94 years of life, her drive, her humor and how she shaped me as a person.
I closed up shop
After years of running a design studio, I had to make the hard decision to close my business. Any small business owner would agree that keeping the doors open is hard work, even when times are good. 2015 brought with it the toughest conditions I had encountered as an entrepreneur. The thing I loved felt like it was continually stealing the joy from my life. I’m very thankful for my attorneys and supporters that helped me through 2015, but I’m very glad I don’t have to call on them for the same reasons anymore.
I lost relationships
A byproduct of the year of the transition was the loss of a few key relationships. I learned that relationships are fragile and take a huge amount work to maintain. This was a really crappy lesson taught by 2015.
I started a new chapter
Until 2015, I had been self employed my entire working life. Last year, I crossed over into the world of being an employee and started a new chapter as the Creative Director at Able. I‘m learning about being a leader in the context of a larger team with a big, ambitious goal.
Starting this new chapter was really the light at the end of a very dark season for me. I’m excited about work again and better still, I’m a better husband and father because of the health that this new job has brought to me.
Hello, 2016
Looking forward to this year, I’m hesitant to project too much about what will happen. 2015 taught me over and over again that I am not the master of my own destiny. I do not have the ability to speak things into being and I shouldn’t expect things to follow my plan line by line. Only God knows what’s next.
For this year…
I’m hopeful that the work I do is work that matters. I want to work hard to make something great that creates momentum.
I’m hopeful I can become more fit. Physically, spiritually, mentally, organizationally, financially, etc.
I’m hopeful I can be a better friend, parent and husband.
Cheers to 2016.
