‘The Psychology of Ineffective Communication Patterns in Job Hunting’ By Nicole Wren
Our unique psychological makeups significantly influence how we communicate during job hunting, including on our resumes and during job interviews.
Our individual personalities, past experiences, beliefs, and emotions shape the way we convey our qualifications and experiences to potential employers. Ineffective communication patterns in this context can hinder career advancement.
Understanding Communication Styles
There are four main communication styles. These are: passive communication, aggressive communication, passive-aggressive communication and assertive communication. Often, these styles are ‘learned’ from parents who expressed this type of style. Other factors can also contribute to our communication patterns.
Passive Communication
This communication style is characterized by avoidance and submissiveness. Passive communicators may downplay their achievements on their resumes and in job interviews, avoiding clear self-promotion. They might use vague language that fails to showcase their strengths or contributions effectively. Passive communicators may omit significant leadership roles or impactful achievements, giving prospective employers an incomplete picture of their capabilities. When discussing achievements, they usually refer to their role within a team (“we” is often used, rather than “I”), rather than highlighting their own unique contributions.
Psychological Factors at Play
Low self-esteem may lead to underselling accomplishments, while a fear of conflict can result in avoiding challenging experiences. Childhood conditioning and social anxiety can affect one’s ability to confidently communicate achievements, and perfectionism might lead to over-editing and self-criticism.
Ways to Improve:
• Make a list of all your accomplishments and achievements and highlight these on your resume and in interviews. Focus on what YOU achieved, rather than what your team achieved.
• Realize that rejection is part of the job application process. Keep in mind that many factors, including competition and timing, can contribute to rejection.
• Role-play interview scenarios with a friend or coach to practice assertive responses.
Aggressive Communication
Aggressive communicators may come across as overly self-centered or boastful in their resumes and in job interviews, and use excessive superlatives and aggressive language. They may focus on their accomplishments without considering the needs of prospective employers. Aggressive communicators can create an arrogant impression and alienate potential employers.
Psychological Factors at Play
Insecure individuals may resort to aggressive language to assert dominance or cover up their perceived shortcomings. Fear of competition or a strong desire to impress might lead to an overly assertive or confrontational tone. Additionally, past experiences of being overlooked or undervalued could drive individuals to use aggression as a means of standing out.
Ways to Improve:
• Focus on highlighting your achievements without coming across as boastful or arrogant. Use quantifiable results and specific examples to demonstrate your skills.
• Tailor your resume and interview responses to align with the organization’s requirements.
• Ask for feedback from trusted colleagues or career advisors on your resume and interview style.
Passive-Aggressive Communication
Passive-aggressive communicators might subtly criticize or express frustration on their resumes and in job interviews, often masked as backhanded compliments or veiled criticisms. For example, in a resume, a passive-aggressive communicator might explain they managed a team successfully ‘despite certain challenges in team dynamics,’ without going into detail about what these were. Their communication style can leave employers feeling confused or uneasy.
Psychological Factors at Play
This communication style can stem from a negative experience with a past employer, combined with a fear of confrontation, a desire to avoid negative reactions, or a need to maintain a facade of politeness. Past experiences of being punished for expressing dissenting opinions or concerns may contribute to passive-aggressive tendencies.
Ways to Improve:
• Avoid veiled criticisms or sarcasm in resumes and job interviews. Instead, express your thoughts and concerns clearly and professionally. Remember, though, that resumes and job interviews are not usually the time to criticize past employers.
• Use specific examples to highlight your accomplishments and skills without resorting to passive-aggressive tactics.
Assertive Communication
The ‘gold standard’ communication style, assertive communicators find a balance between self-promotion and humility on their resumes and in job interviews. They use clear and confident language to describe their qualifications and achievements without excessive exaggeration or understatement. They confidently describe issues that were overcome, without coming across as disgruntled.
Effective communication is a skill that can be cultivated and refined. By understanding the psychology behind ineffective communication patterns and adopting a more assertive approach, you can significantly improve your career prospects.
Meet Our Contributor — Nicole Wren
Nicole is a psychologist and career expert, and the driving force behind Resumes to Impress. With a strong understanding of human behavior and a passion for career development, she combines her psychological insights with her expertise in crafting compelling resumes and interview coaching. Nicole’s mission is to empower individuals to navigate their career journeys successfully. Her tailored guidance and innovative strategies have helped countless clients achieve their career aspirations. Nicole continues to make a significant impact in the world of career development.
