lessons learned

True to my Type A leanings, I’ve been itching to write a good list lately. But as much as I love a good list, what I don’t love is the glut of totally unnecessary numerical lists floating around the Internet tubes these days (“Seven Totally Acceptable Yet Banal Ways to Please Your Man!”) So here’s the thing: my birthday is in November, and trying to do a ’34 Before 34’ goals list seems exhausting. Instead, I present Liz’s List of Things She’s Learned that You Can Totally Count Yourself. Enjoy!

Education is everything. I’m not just talking about formal classroom-style education you’d get at a college or university, though that is certainly important. I’m talking about reading anything you can get your hands on to learn about what’s happening in the world, getting news from various sources, and having in-depth conversations (live, in-person conversations with real people; not fighting with comment section trolls) about issues you care about.

“Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.” One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, and a great piece of advice for anyone.

Life can be uncertain. Always pack snacks. From a girl who’s known to get the hangries when she doesn’t eat something every few hours, this is one of the most important ones on the list. Just trust me on this one and stick a granola bar in your purse.

Invest in the best shoes you can afford. This will be my one and only piece of wardrobe advice, because I could write an entire dissertation on clothes, shopping and the like, but this one I feel is the most important. Good shoes elevate everything else you’re wearing: conversely, bad shoes bring everything else down. Also, life is WAY too short to be hobbling around in uncomfortable shoes.

Adhere to your own standards of beauty and no one else’s. I promise, this will save you from so much grief and heartache (not to mention time and money) if you learn to abide by this sooner rather than later. There’s nothing wrong with having your finger on the pulse of what’s hot right now, but don’t let that dictate your own personal style. Wear what makes you feel like your most brilliant, authentic self: love how you look in bright pink lips and glittery eye shadow? Rock it, own it, don’t apologize for it.

Treat everyone the way you would want to be treated. Period. There is nothing to be gained from acting like a sanctimonious prick. And there is a lot of truth in the idea that you can tell what kind of person someone is by the way they treat people in the service industry. Sometimes at work, I’ll spend most of my day thanking people for whatever they’ve done for me or helped me with. Gratitude is infectious.

Save money. I’m glad I didn’t learn this one too late, but I certainly started later than I could have. Social security may well run out by the time my generation retires, so your financial future is in your hands.

There’s enough room for everyone to be successful. No need to push and shove; we all have something to offer. We women especially need to stick together and support one another: find a group of like-minded pals to lift one another up and be a sounding board for each other’s ideas and goals.

Comparison is the thief of joy. A speaker at the Texas Style Council this year said this, and it’s one of the standout tidbits I took from the weekend. Trust me, there will always be someone smarter, younger, richer, more stylish… whatever the barometer, competing only with yourself is really the only way to be happy.

Don’t get even. Get even better. Breakups suck; there’s really no way around it. I’ve been through some doozies in my life. Channeling your pain into self-improvement will help take your mind off things and get your mental state to a better place. Your own happiness is the best revenge.
Know your worth and be prepared to fight for it, because that’s no one else’s job but yours. When it comes to your paycheck, your personal relationships and what’s important to you in life, there may not be anyone but you who has your own best interests at heart.

So there you have it, folks. I’ve learned a few things here and there along my ever-meandering life path, and I can only hope to have imparted one helpful nugget on to you. The great thing about getting older is becoming more comfortable with who you are and caring less and less about what others think: I cannot WAIT to be a retiree. I think I’ll be really good at it.