What would I say to my-6-year-old-self?
So much has happened since I last saw you, and honestly I can’t be sure anymore about how long it was. Perhaps it was over 20 years, and life has taken a toll on me; but don’t you dare staring at me with those skeptical eyes I won’t take that.
Did I happen to let you down, to break your heart and shatter your dreams? Oh yes, you had way too many of them, of which I still remember and carry with me. Why are your teary eyes watching all over me so sad? And what’s with the nostalgic look in your eyes?
I know I am not exactly the sort of person you had once thought you would become, but I bet you know I did my best in everything, and fought each and every battle that life has ever thrown at me, and through them all winning or being defeated I never regretted since I knew I had been so true to myself, did the thing I wished to and treated others the way I would love to be treated.
Don’t you be so sad for I have never once forgotten your dreams, our dreams. I still remember you kept journal, and you started them since you were 6 after seeing the series ‘Daniela’s Diary’, and so I still do that – journaling I mean, not every day but I make a point of doing so as often as I possibly could.
I know all you dreams from being a news presenter for the evening program after watching that Korean drama ‘All About Eve’ to becoming a flight attendant or a tour guide to have you chance at touring places and hopefully the world some days, and even your silly dream of getting a foreign husband and having mixed-parent kids (but I am afraid that at the moment that dream of yours is a bit out of my league).
Those are your dreams, and they once were mine too. If I ever stand a thin chance of fulfilling them, I would I swear – no matter how thin the chance could possibly be.
But you know there are other dreams as well, the greater ones with a better cause like that dream of us – the 6-year-old-you and the 27-year-of-age-me – about travelling to Africa, witnessing first-hand how magnificent the landscape and how resilient the people there could be, to help the needed and to learn from them – their belief and their culture. I still nurture that dream, so don’t you worry (sometimes I wondered why we both are so obsessed with Africa).
And what about the weirdest dream of mine? (oh you smile! So it’s now part of yours as well) You know which one I am talking about, yup that’s the one – becoming an author (writing in English of course, you know how extremely terribly horrible my Vietnamese could be; even though I must confess that my English isn’t much better but you know I’m a hard-working kind of person… oh come on, don’t give me that cocky smile! My 3 years in India proved that, I aced everything!)
I know dreams are always dreams if all we do is keep talking about it, but I am working on executing those, so you can rest assure knowing that the future-you after over 2 decades of growing, changing and evolving has never ever let you down.
That future you could only be stronger, wiser (not than anyone of course, just you), more beautiful (and let’s just say that from the inside out yeah?). She would be brave, braver with every single passing day. She would be wild and reckless in pursuing her dreams. She would always be curious with lots of questions, and be looking at things with those childlike eyes. But on top of all I promise she would have that heart of yours – the one would speak to her, encourage her and urge her towards the direction of realizing her destiny.
So smile for me one last time knowing this ‘maybe one day I could find a place where our dreams and my reality collide’