Once lived a young boy with an interest in painting.
He aspired to create a breathtaking sunrise using his watercolors, but his palette contained only two colors: red and yellow. He had run out of the orange color and got distressed.
He searched every store in his village, but orange was stocked out. That night, he lay awake, brooding over his desire to paint.
Little did the boy know he had orange with him. Red and yellow could be mixed to create orange.
Your current identities are like the colors red and yellow.
Like the boy, you may not realize that you can blend your known identities to form new ones to create your own perfect “sunrises.”
What is Identity?
You probably view yourself as an employee, parent, spouse, or friend — these are your role-based identities.
However, there are value-based identities that are equally crucial but often overlooked.
No one explicitly defines these identities for you, such as being an accountable person, a lifelong learner, a problem-solver, or a social magnet.
So you must discover your identity.
Throughout your life, you’ve unconsciously used these value-based identities.
Just by becoming aware of them, you can solve many more problems and develop positive habits.
How Identity Drives Action?
Let me share my example.
Problem: I wanted to avoid unhealthy snacking, so I stopped stocking such snacks at home. However, when I saw these snacks in grocery stores or social gatherings, I struggled to resist them.
Solution: Instead of relying solely on willpower, I used an identity — I am a healthy person.
To clarify this identity, I defined ‘healthy’ for myself.
In the context of avoiding unhealthy food, I told myself I would avoid salt, sugar and fats, especially from packaged foods.
I further added food items like ice cream, potato chips, cheesecake etc. and tagged them as must-not-have, once-a-month, etc.
These were just guidelines for me to understand the identity better. My actual behavior would cover a lot more.
Why is Identity Often Overlooked?
Isn’t it simple to find an identity and break bad habits? Not quite.
Sometimes you eat tasty food without feeling guilty, or you eat them to regret later because the specific identity didn’t cross your mind then.
Research shows that understanding an identity can depend on the context. When British students identified more with their British identity, they were more likely to plan for a healthy reduction of alcohol and salt intake.
So, the key is accessing the right identity at the right time.
According to Identity-based Motivation theory, people may view challenges as proof they can’t achieve their desired identity, making them feel like their actions don’t matter.
In a study, participants were asked about the effectiveness of healthy lifestyle habits. People who saw the habits as difficult felt those habits were not aligned with their identities.
How to Use Identity Effectively
To make the most of identity, you need practice. Repeatedly using a new identity in various situations can prime your brain to recall it when needed.
Here’s how to get started after you choose an identity to pursue:
1. Remember Past Instances: If you can recall moments when you exhibited a particular identity, write them down and review them frequently. Then practice.
2. Start Small: If you can’t remember such instances, begin with small habits that reflect the identity you want to develop. Gradually, as you feel the identity taking shape, you can increase the complexity of your actions.
If both approaches don’t work, it’s possible that you don’t have a strong connection to the identity you want to form.
It happened to me as well. I wanted to have a flat stomach for years, but I never prioritized it because work and hobbies appeared more important to me.
It’s only recently that I started thinking about the relevant exercises for a toned body. So, my desire to be in a better shape was not strong enough earlier.
The same may happen to you. The new habit is probably only good-to-have. You need to feel that the new behavior is a must-have in your current stage of life.
By re-evaluating your priorities, you can create lasting identities, which will help you build good habits and get rid of bad ones.
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