Secrets of Happiness: Discovering the Three Paths to a Fulfilling Life
Are you happy with your life?
Please answer before you read further because I will rephrase this question at the end. If a simple yes or no isn’t serving you, you may rate your happiness on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the happiest.
Keep your answer close until the end, for you’re in for a delightful surprise about your understanding of happiness.
We all want to be happy, of course. Most of us also love to make others happy. However, happiness can mean different things to different people.
Hence, we need to peel the layers off of this beautiful word to uncover exactly what happiness is.
Three Happy Lives
Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, conducted extensive research about happiness. In his book ‘Authentic Happiness’, Seligman explains there are three different happy lives.
They are different because the actions and mindsets required to build them are different.
It is possible for individuals to have one type of happy life without having the other two.
Here are the three happy lives:
- The Pleasant Life
- The Engaged Life
- The Meaningful Life
Let us understand each happy life.
The Pleasant Life
The Pleasant Life focuses on experiencing positive emotions, enjoying life’s pleasures, and savoring the present moment. It involves maximizing the amount of positive emotions and minimizing the negative ones.
Examples of the Pleasant Life can include:
- Engaging in hobbies and activities that bring you joy and satisfaction, such as painting, gardening, or playing a musical instrument.
- Taking time to appreciate and savor the simple pleasures in life, like enjoying a delicious meal, going for a walk in nature, or spending quality time with loved ones.
- Cultivating positive relationships and creating happy memories with friends and family through shared experiences.
The Engaged Life
The Engaged Life is about finding activities that provide a state of flow — a state of deep engagement and absorption. It involves being fully immersed in an activity that aligns with your skills and interests.
Examples of the Engaged Life can include:
- Pursuing a challenging project or task at work or in a personal project where you experience a sense of flow and lose track of time due to your deep engagement.
- Engaging in a physical activity, such as dancing, playing a sport, or practicing yoga, where you are completely absorbed in the movements and sensations of your body.
- Immersing yourself in a creative endeavor, like writing, painting, or playing an instrument, where you experience a sense of flow and express yourself fully.
The Meaningful Life
The Meaningful Life revolves around finding a purpose beyond oneself and making a positive impact on the world. It involves identifying and engaging in activities that align with your values, strengths, and interests.
Examples of the Meaningful Life can include:
- Engaging in volunteer work or community service that addresses social issues or supports causes you care about.
- Pursuing a career or profession that allows you to contribute to something greater than yourself, such as working in healthcare, education, or environmental conservation.
- Nurturing and investing in meaningful relationships, such as being a supportive friend, partner, or family member, and making a positive difference in their lives.
Which Happy Life is More Important?
Martin Seligman asked thousands of people to unravel the secrets of happiness. He asked them how much their pursuit of pleasure (positive emotions), engagement (flow state), and meaning influenced their overall life satisfaction.
The results were surprising.
Pursuing pleasure alone had little impact on happiness.
However, the pursuit of meaning emerged as the most influential factor, followed closely by engagement.
Pleasure became significant only when combined with both meaning and engagement, adding that extra touch of delight.
A truly fulfilling life is greater than the sum of its parts when you have all three aspects.
On the other hand, if you lack all three, the result is an unsatisfying life where the individual components fall short.
So, Are you Happy?
I now rephrase my earlier question:
Are you happy with each of the following lives of yours?
- The Pleasant Life (positive emotions)
- The Engaged Life (flow state)
- The Meaningful Life
You can either say a Yes or No. Or use a scale from 1 to 10.
Once you know your happiness score, you can actively work towards improving each to maintain a fine balance.
While positive emotions may be abundant, experiencing consistent flow is not common.
Even more difficult is to find meaning in life, if you have not thought about it already.
Implications for working professionals
A good starting point to increase happiness at work is consciously striving for flow more often. Increasing flow is crucial for productivity and fulfillment.
Attempt to do things you enjoy for a happier work life.
Strategies to create flow at the workplace are
1. Setting clear goals and seeking continuous feedback
2. Balancing challenges and skills for any task
3. Creating a focused environment and blocking your calendar
4. Managing time effectively to create a sense of control
5. Finding intrinsic motivation by seeking joyful and meaningful tasks
6. Communicating your needs clearly to your Manager
I associate my best memories at work with flow. To create flow at work, I frequently schedule uninterrupted time on my calendar. I select a specific project, divide it into manageable tasks, and establish a clear goal.
Achieving the flow state and successfully completing challenging projects within deadlines is highly satisfying.
Although I lose the sense of time in flow, the positive effects linger for hours, and occasionally, even days.
Remember, achieving flow to increase happiness is very personal. So experiment and adapt these strategies to find what works best for you.
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