I turned 30 a few days ago. I can't sugar coat it, it was the most disappointing birthday of my life. Yes, I am alive, and yes I am not disabled, all things I am grateful for, but who has those as life-goals? Nobody says by the time I am thirty, I will be alive… We all know that’s out of our control.
Throughout my twenties I had put my thirtieth birthday as an ultimatum, or a milestone of sorts:
- By the time I hit thirty I will be married
- By the time I hit thirty I will be my own boss or the boss of a big team
- By the time I hit thirty I would have at least $100k in savings
- By the time I hit thirty I will have written a book
- By the time I hit thirty I will have traveled to every continent on earth
- By the time I hit thirty I will have own my own apartment
- By the time I am thirty I will have figured out how to be thin
Essentially 30 was that checkpoint when I would look at my life and celebrate achieving so much. I am not one of those people who is afraid of obscurity. That doesn’t scare me. What scares me is not being the best version of myself possible. Of course, my starting assumption is that nothing is impossible.
So did I achieve any of it? NOPE.
I live in an apartment, above my parents garage, I have been single for the past two months and I just lied to my boss at Ontiva* about having a nasty stomach bug because I don't feel like showing up to work. The longest relationship I have ever had, has lasted for four years and it is the one I have with Ontiva. I treat Ontiva like I treat people, as long as we have a mutually beneficial relationship, I will stay involved, which is why we have endured for so long. Four years in a company, in this digital age is like 20 years in my parent’s jobs (the baby boomers era).
I live above my means, which means I have no savings. Instead, I have a respectable bag and shoe collection and a closet full of Balmain and Zara. I do have a shopping problem. More on that later.
I have been traveling, that’s also part of living above my means, but I have not visited every continent. I have visited natural marvels, historical sites and countless museums. I have stayed at some of the worlds best hotels and ate in many Michelin starred restaurants. I love travelling, everything about it appeals to me. I am by nature an observer (I used to dream of becoming a journalist before I realized how little money I would be making right out of college and came to terms with how bad my prose was), I would rather observe the fun than actually be the center of it. I know that doesn't make sense…Remember the Great Gatsby movie that came out a couple years ago? While my girlfriends fell in love with Daisy, Gatsby, Nick or even Jordan (yes Amy did), I fell in love with the NYC and Long Island of the 1920's. I wanted to be there to observe everything and it see it.
And no, I have not written a book either. But that’s because nothing exceptional has happened to me.
Well guess what, that’s about to change!
*made up name so I don’t get in trouble