7 Common Reasons Why People hurt you

Success Fuel
4 min readJun 3, 2023

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Life is a peculiar journey, filled with moments of joy, love and companionship. However, there are times when we encounter individuals who seem to go out of their way to cause us pain. It’s bewildering, isn’t it?

We shall explore seven common reasons why people hurt you. By understanding these underlying motives, we can gain insight into the human psyche and develop strategies to protect ourselves. So, let’s dive in!

Number 1: They are envious of your success.

Have you ever noticed someone treating you differently after achieving success? It’s not uncommon for envy to rear its bad head when others feel threatened by your accomplishments. Envy stems from a deep-rooted desire for what others possess and unfortunately, it can manifest as hurtful behavior.

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Remember, envy is often a reflection of their own insecurities rather than a reflection of your worth.

Number 2: They are insecure about themselves.

Insecurity can be a powerful motivator behind hurtful actions. When individuals are plagued by self-doubt and a lack of confidence, they may resort to putting others down in an attempt to alleviate their own feelings of inadequacy.

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It’s essential to understand that their hurtful behavior is a manifestation of their internal struggles, rather than a reflection of your worth or capabilities.

Number 3: They are seeking power or control.

Some people have an insatiable need for power and control over others. They derive pleasure from manipulating and exerting dominance, often resorting to hurting others to maintain their sense of authority. These individuals view hurting others as a means of asserting their superiority.

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However, recognizing their motivations can help you guard against their influence and protect yourself.

Number 4: They are influenced by negative peer pressure.

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and the influence of peers can be powerful. Individuals who engage in hurtful behavior may be succumbing to negative peer pressure, seeking validation and acceptance from their social circles. They may fear being left out or ostracized if they do not conform to the group’s expectations.

Photo by Keira Burton: https://www.pexels.com/photo/diverse-guys-scoffing-at-ethnic-female-teenager-on-street-6147112/

It’s important to remember that their actions stem from their desire to fit in rather than a genuine reflection of their feelings toward you.

Number 5: They are unable to manage their emotions.

We all experience a range of emotions, but some individuals struggle to manage their feelings effectively. They may lash out or hurt others unintentionally as a result of their emotional turmoil. Their inability to regulate their emotions can cause them to project their pain onto those around them.

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Understanding this can help you approach their behavior with empathy and compassion while also protecting yourself from unnecessary harm.

Number 6: They have unresolved past traumas.

The scars of past traumas can haunt individuals impacting their behavior in the present. Hurtful actions may stem from their unresolved pain and the defense mechanisms they developed as a result of their past experiences.

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Although it is not an excuse for their behavior recognizing their unresolved trauma can help you navigate the situation with greater understanding and empathy.

Number 7: They lack empathy or compassion.

Lastly, some individuals simply lack empathy and compassion. They struggle to understand or consider the feelings and perspectives of others. Their actions may stem from a fundamental inability to connect with others on an emotional level.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-gray-tank-top-looking-furious-3812754/

While it can be disheartening to encounter such individuals, acknowledging their lack of empathy can empower you to surround yourself with more empathetic and caring individuals.

As we conclude our exploration into the common reasons why people hurt you, it becomes clear that hurtful behavior often stems from complex personal struggles, insecurities and emotional baggage. Understanding these underlying motivations grants us the power to protect ourselves while fostering empathy and compassion for those who hurt us. Remember, their actions are not a reflection of your worth, but rather a reflection of their own internal battles. By cultivating self-awareness, surrounding ourselves with positive influences, and approaching hurtful individuals with empathy, we can rise above the negativity and continue on our journey towards a fulfilling and joyful life.

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