Peacemaker vs Pissed-maker

Why is it hard to be both

Being a template INFP, I am known among my friends as the peacemaker. The keywords like “peaceful, timid, un-opinionated, soft-spoken, diplomatic, tactful” have been used to label me. (Disclaimer: Only from acquaintances and casual friends.)

Well, here’s the thing. It can be sickening to be one.

It seems like as a peacemaker, I have not resolved any issues faced by others. Trying to keep things at peace, usually both parties end up sweeping the issue under the carpet just to have it dramatically lifted sooner or later. It is quite rare that both parties achieved “Nirvana”.

The conclusion isn’t very different in facing the disagreement issue myself. Most of the time, it’s me — sweeping the issue under the carpet while the other party is totally ignorant and taking advantages of my “submissiveness”.

Wait, that’s not the end of it. You see, until that issue worsen and turns against my principles, all hell breaks loose!

This peacemaker turns into a pissed-maker.

You see, the good thing about being a pissed-maker is — my issue is acknowledged. Yes, I burn a few bridges because I piss a few people off but the issue is tackled. And somehow in the process, it will open your eyes wider about individual behavior.

1. Study how well a person takes a criticism or faces a disagreement
2. Study how well a person follow up on the issue of dispute

Then decide whether any further issues relating the person are worth proceeding.

Why all the trouble?

Some things or some people just can’t be changed in a blink of an eye or by a punch in the face. A person’s behaviors can’t be altered by a conflict. It needs a war. But, of course some things are just not worth that much of damage, duh.

So, you shall be the judge and determine whether they are even worth the “pissing off”. There is no point of being a pissed-maker if the people involved are not going to maintain the change anyway. It’s not that fun being a pissed-maker. If you enjoy being one, hey you must be one of those who cause a pain in my life.

Why can’t you solve an issue peacefully — like assertively?

Disputes don’t get settled easily because we’re humans. As humans, we are entitled to our own different opinions. If being assertive guarantees an understanding or both parties goes a separate way — that will be perfect, isn’t it? Whatever the nuisance is, wisdom and tactfulness should be practiced. But we all know we don’t have much of that. (Yes, we are always learning.)

But then again, if I sweep it all under the carpet, I may not learn anything at all, right?

So, why not log off from the Internet, go out and piss a few people off today?