They said I was ugly…

Being an Indian I would say body shaming is like one of the things I don’t like in our community. I’m skinny and I’m subjected to body shaming almost every single day of my life.

There was a time when I was very much effected because of it I used to stay away from people , parties and reunions etc .

So heres the thing I never through out my life did fasting, I can’t bare hunger, I love eating I’m a big foodie and an awesome cook. So it was never like I didn’t eat I always ate still stayed thin.

From childhood where ever I go people would say I’m ugly because I’m super thin. All those distant relatives or family friends. I remember once it was my cousin’s wedding one old lady she saw me and she was like my god she’s very thin and ugly how she’ll get a husband in future and all that. It’s not like I’m super thin I’m 5’5 and 50kgs , it’s just that my bone weight is more and people who are close to me know I eat like a pig. Travelling and eating good food is my thing but I seriously never understand why I don’t grow body mass.

After this social media came and it kind of became hell for me at one point because almost every week I used to get atleast 5 messages on Facebook from some friends saying I’m thin and ugly, when ever I uploaded any pic of mine (it happens even now) people would comment saying you are a doctor but you look like a patient or simply “thin”, many times it hurts because they are family.

Outsiders comments didn’t hurt me much because I always had a shield of friends from childhood but when my own family used to do it I was very hurt . Like very recently some one very close said “you would never find love of your life because you are thin and unattractive” .

Some times my mom’s friends would show up all those overly obese women would tell me that I’m ugly and thin.

I in perticular hate this in India because if you are fat or skinny these people no matter how good you are at studies, how well you are in your profession all will either comment on you or show pity because according to them if you are skinny or fat you are ugly and you can’t get a husband and you will forever stay alone.

There was a time when I went for all those silly tests like for thyroid , type 1 diabetes , hb% my levels were normal and I didn’t have any disease , my doctor kept telling me you don’t have anything wrong with you its just your body type but I had to do it because there were bunch of people who were completely nagging me that there was something wrong with me and half of them were closely related to me.

It was in med school where I really realised because I didn’t had those shield of childhood friends this time , I was very much on my own and it was just matter of realization. I started not to care , I was so positive about it and people saw me all the time so slowly all would know that I eat more but stay thin yet outside med school still this positivity doesn’t work because I still get comments from like family , long lost friends and sometimes even strangers.

I have heard the word ugly and thin so many times I guess it made me super strong. I remember once a stranger in a bustop she actually called me just to tell me I’m ugly and thin I replied to her sarcastically “thanks , what can I do I’m not as beautiful as you” and I still remember her face she was so awestruck in guilt .

I mean in course of life we only remember people who hurt us more but we always forget people who admire us for what we are I mean I remember when my 12th was coming to an end there were so many people who advised me to take modelling instead of med school , there were boys who said I look good, I remember an incident it was new years eve I was waiting for my friend there was this boy who came and gave a rose flower to me and said I’m just giving it to you because you are so beautiful ( l didn’t take the flower I got scared and walked away) , there are friends of mine who always say they are jealous of me because I eat too much and still stay thin anyways I just wanted to make a point that there was/is so much good happening in my life and I was depressed seeing the negative side instead of seeing all the positive things happening around me.

I don’t how I got the realization almost 4 years back probably because of all the new people those came into my life . There were times when I cried alone because I don’t like crying infront of people now I just stay happy and I just compensate all those sad days by staying happy everyday. I got so many baes and most importantly I love myself more than anything.

So all of you who are facing body shaming like me please just don’t care , enjoy what you have, most importantly love yourself. People will comment but what is important is what you think of yourself.
One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.