This time of year can be challenging for those of us that prefer longer days of daylight. Depending on the altitude and climate where we live, there may be snow, or rain, or wind, or just plain cold.
We may have parts of us that truly hate the cold, and other parts that don’t mind it if we don’t have to go out in it. We may hate the thought of driving on treacherous roads or walking on icy surfaces but love looking at the crystals and snow on the limbs of the trees.
Those of us who love this time of year, we may have parts that like to stay inside and enjoy indoor activities. We may have parts of us that want to snuggle under a blanket on the couch and get caught up on movies or read a good book. Another part of us may love this time year because we can stay inside and play games with friends/family. …
I recently realized that most of us just don’t know how to do appropriate self-disclosure. We desperately want to be understood, and we think this will happen automatically when we find a “Perfectly Understanding Person”. Often we find the person we believe will be the one that “gets us”, only to be disappointed when they don’t. We usually blame them for not being the person that we thought they were going to be.
But the truth is that most of us lack the skills to make ourselves understood. No one has taught us the ability to disclose our real selves in a way that connects us with others. …
Seriously. Are you ready to commit to what you want?
You need to commit to your dreams. No if’s, no but’s, no maybe’s.
You need to decide that right HERE, right NOW, you are going to find a way to make your dreams come true.
You need some dang goals. If you don’t know what your goals are, take some time and really brainstorm. Ask a friend or colleague to help you. Get opinions from people who have either successfully achieved what you’re looking to do or someone who has supported people looking to do what you want to do.
And then you need to commit to turning your intentions into actually actions. …
Resistance often shows up just before your system is ready to make a successful shift.
Studies show that when you start a new positive lifestyle activity, your brain floods your body with feel-good neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine. These chemicals create a biological “excitement” about the changes.
For example, when you start a new meditation habit, a new food plan, or any kind of a new “improvement” project these brain chemicals start flowing, fueling your good intentions with seemingly boundless energy.
Initially your new project seems almost effortless. You start to entertain ideas of how easy creating the new habit will be. …
For every person who speaks out against something that feels “wrong”, there are many who just sit quietly and never utter a word. It is sad to think of the many people who do not take advantage of their right to speak up.
In a society that favors individuality and encourages progress, those who do not attempt use their voices when they witness an injustice, can be considered just as complicit as those who are hindering others.
Courage, desire, self-motivation, and confidence are all characteristics of those who press for change when they witness an injustice.
For these people, society should have the utmost respect. Not only do they help themselves, but often they help others who do not possess the courage or ability to voice their opinions; to stand up and be counted. …
So many of us carry little white lies that keep us stressed. We worry that if people knew us as we really are, if they saw us without our people pleasing masks firmly in place, they wouldn’t accept us.
One of the most prevalent lies says our body isn’t acceptable unless it’s perfect: thin, unwrinkled, unblemished, and muscled.
Another lie is that our children must be well behaved at all times. Or more prominently that we must be well behaved at all times.
This lie can make us insane: Our dinners must be Food Network worthy; our house must like Martha’s. …
When was the last time to you took the opportunity to look at your belief system? Many of us claim to be “open-minded” but in truth we have just accepted someone else’s beliefs as our own.
Which leads me to a question: “Do you consider yourself a tolerant person, an accepting person, what about an embracing person?”
Realizing there is a difference between merely tolerating a belief system that is different, accepting a belief system that is different and EMBRACING a belief system that is different. Tolerance implies you don’t mind if someone believes completely differently than you do. Acceptance implies that you honor their right to believe even when it doesn’t exactly line up. …
There are times we are required to make challenging and/or confusing choices. It’s times like these when we need to gather as much information as we can about all of the different options. Some options may have consequences that don’t appear on the surface but can be determined when we take the time to dig a little deeper. …
Occasionally we feel disconnected in our interactions with other people. It may show up as having trouble getting people to understand our ideas, or we suddenly find our opinions are drastically different from the people around us.
When this happens it’s very possible the disconnection with others could be a mirror of what we feel internally. We may not always notice when we’ve become internally disconnected, until other areas of our lives stop running as smoothly.
If we choose to see our outer sense of disconnection as a sign that something is happening within us, we can better work through it and resolve it quickly. …
Most of us like to be helpful. We take food to a sick friend, we provide transportation for an appointment, we dog sit for our neighbors, we sit with someone who’s received bad/sad news and can even stop and help strangers.
Yet many of us are hesitant to ask for support when we need it. Any number of reasons may keep us from reaching out and asking or even accepting assistance. Pride, embarrassment, not wanting to be a bother, or even fear of rejection can keep us from seeking assistance, even when we really need it.
I’ve just had week of feeling that reluctance. It’s been one of those times when I’ve received bad news, needed to make some tough decisions, been unsure which direction to turn and have felt unsure of how some scenarios are going to playout. In the past I would have attempted to handle all of this on my own, not wanting to bother anyone. Thankfully, I could set my pride aside and reach out to friends that have access to the resources I need.
This has been a great opportunity for me to remember that needing help is not a weakness. It may be a challenge and feel like a risk to ask for help, but this week has given me one more opportunity to grow and learn. …