The superwoman in our lives

SUHASINI P RAGHURAM
Nov 2 · 3 min read

One fine evening, while traveling back home from office in a cab, I started a conversation with the driver. He was an educated man, who recently quit his corporate job to start driving. And so, I was shocked when this well mannered, seemingly intellectual man said "Ma’am, all this work and job and travel is temporary for you. You will have no necessity to work after you marry because anyway your husband will take care". When I told him I had no such intensions, he proceed to tell me that I had to quit at least when I had kids, because apparently, the kids needed a stay at home mom to take good care of them and that it would be bad for the kid to have a working mom. I was offended. While I wasn’t going to argue with the driver, I was quite sad at the unfair way working moms are judged, even today, even when the rest of the society has moved so forward.

Throughout my childhood, both my parents were working. Their work timings stretched as years went by. And yet, I have always felt loved and cared for. I have grown up around so many working women in my family, right from my great-grandmother who stitched clothes to earn and support a family. Yes, I can proudly say that I am a fourth generation working woman in my family. I watched them manage home and work so efficiently. They made it look so easy. Just like the superheros in movies achieve impossible tasks with ease! That’s why I like to call them the superwomen of our lives.

In reality, it is not at all easy to do this. It does not matter if it is a 9-5 corporate job or freelancing or business. It is simply not easy. And it is not just managing work and home, it is also managing expectations of the society. A society that guit trips working moms for not being good mothers. And a work environment that most of the time guilt trip them for just being moms and not giving 100% to their work. For which they strive to work even harder, push themselves even further, just to be treated on par with their male counterparts.

They say you cant have it both ways, be a good mom and follow your passion. That you can't have the best of both worlds. I beg to differ. A little bit of support and encouragement goes a long way in helping a woman realize her dreams, without having to sacrifice attention to their houses or kids. One of the best advice I have received is that we need to outsource anything and everything we can, so we can focus more on what's important to us. And these should not be considered as expenses, but as investments towards having more time to do the things that matter the most to us.

At the end of the day, whether a woman wants to be a stay at home mom or a working mom is her choice. And she has every right to make that choice. Encourage her to make that choice, and support her to realise that choice.

    SUHASINI P RAGHURAM

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