A self-help book tells me to look at myself in the mirror every morning and say ‘Every day, in every way I am getting better & better’. But when I see myself in the mirror I cannot help but say ‘Every day, in every way I am getting balder & balder’. Today is the first day of the rest of my life . . . Oh God, I am going to spend the rest of my life gradually starting to look like an Egg!
Balding is the second thing that truly terrifies a man. Every man cringes when he sees his receding hairline. ‘The tenderest spot in a man is the bald spot on his head.’ says American journalist Helen Rowland. Bald people are universally ridiculed — that too for no fault of theirs.
But I wonder why people laugh at bald men? In fact, most of the brilliant people in the world are bald! This is because bald men quite naturally outshine others. Baldies are also successful because they are fast thinkers. Their heads are aerodynamically shaped for speed. A bald head is also ideal to dissipate the heat generated by deep & intense thought. Pundits and other learned men in 3 great ancient civilizations — India, China and Egypt voluntarily shaved off all their hair. These ancient wise men were surely on to something!
Most world leaders are bald. Perhaps that is why they are called ‘heads of state’ — most of their heads are visible! I came across a group photo of the heads of state of the erstwhile CIS countries. It didn’t surprise me that everyone in the picture was bald! This exalted position given to baldness is not limited to the Communist bloc.
Guess what is America’s national bird? The Bald Headed Eagle. How proudly it features on America’s national emblem. Could it be that the founding fathers of America saw baldness as a sign of wisdom? Or was it because George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin were all balding?
Balding they say is hereditary; it is your children who make you go bald! But there is another school of thought that says that it is your wife who makes you go bald. I am sure that there is some truth in both theories –one never comes across bald women & children!
Hair often vanishes when life is at its prime, which is why they say ‘Hair today, gone tomorrow’. Baldies take heart — Optimism means seeing a glass not as half-empty but as half-full. See yourself as gaining face; not losing hair!
Why be ashamed of balding? Balding is natural — Men essentially have three hairstyles: Parted, unparted & departed. Besides, women find bald men irresistible. You must have often seen pretty women in the company of bald men. But have you ever seen a smart, successful young man dating a bald woman?
Bald men are brave. Show me one bald man who has ever had a hair-raising episode. You can also count on the baldy to keep a cool head at all times! Bald men are not chaps who argue . . . they simply do not believe in splitting hairs. And we bald men can certainly laugh at ourselves. Who says that we never let out hair down?
After Viagra, now I hope scientists will tackle the next big problem. I hope they invent a little blue pill that will help those who are not proud of baldness. But this will still take some time — till then I suggest that we put on a brave face — after all we have so much of it!
And now I shall present evidence that will make you view bald men in a new light. Men balding from the front are great thinkers; men balding in the middle are great lovers. And those balding from the front & the middle think they are great lovers. . .
