The Pill

Sukrit Nagaraj
Nov 4 · 5 min read

“Whatever you do, do not open that door,” Josh warned. I nodded and gulped the pill.

Mildly drunk, it must have been well past midnight when I stumbled towards my hut. Krabi was alive but I needed my sleep. That’s where I met Josh. He was lying outside my abode-for-the-weekend, with a beer in one hand and a rollie in another. He offered a drag and I merrily accepted the invitation. Hell! I could have done with something more. “More?” Josh chuckled. “Well, have you got any of the good stuff?” I needed something now, now that I had said it. “I know of this chemist”, Josh began “who’s created this pill. It’s unlike anything out there. There’s not even a name for it, yet.”

“Yeah? What’s it like?”

“It’s like DMT but different. The trip lasts for about five minutes, but it feels like a lifetime. Imagine sitting in the tube and looking outside the window watching life as just a series of events, a mute observer of this pointless existence. You come out less judgemental and more conscious. It doesn’t change your life but does help you realise that you are not the driver of your car.”

“Josh, my man, I will puke in your face.” I cringed, we laughed and headed to the chemist who was only two huts away.

The chemist looked well past his 60s, withered skin, a bald head and an expressionless face. He wore round-shaped, thin-rimmed spectacles and a simple shirt that rested on his stick for a figure. His hut was no different from the other lodgings in the area. Similar size and shape, half the space occupied by two seats and a bed. There was no place to cook and I did not see any toilet. This surely couldn’t be someone’s home.

As I gazed at the pill the chemist held my hand and said, in a stern but worried voice, “Whatever you do, do not open the door”. I looked at Josh. “What is he saying?”

“Yeah! I missed the most important part. Once, you get off the tube you will enter a dimly lit passageway. By the end of it, you will find a door. There will be a doorman, he will warn you to walk away. Listen to him. Whatever you do, do not open that door.”

“As you say, boss.”

I gulped the pill and in no time I was on the tube. Every single minute of my living existence played on the window like I was watching a neverending TV show. It was scary at first, I was quite sure that anxiety was going to hit me followed by a full-blown panic attack any moment, but surprisingly I eased into the show surpassing my paranoia. Acceptance came almost instantaneously. As I watched myself gulp the drug in the chemist’s hut, I got transported into a long, dimly lit passageway. It only went in one direction.

“Ah! The door.”

The silver-plated, round knob glistened in the dark. I felt some movement in the shadows. A human-like figure lurked out, its eyes gleaming. I saw fear in them as it helplessly cried “Do not open that door”. It was a weak voice, an aged voice, but the cry did not sound threatening. It was almost begging me to not do what I wanted to do. If only the voice had incited some fear in me then I would’ve walked away.

Beyond the door, it was pitch dark. I stepped inside, except there was no ground to step on. It was a drop, difficult to guess the depth of it and I kept on falling. It must have been a few seconds or minutes or even hours, I couldn’t tell. In the middle of the fall somewhere, I blacked out. When I woke up, I found myself on the other side of the door, facing the tunnel. I tried moving away from the door, but I kept banging against an invisible wall. Almost immediately, I saw Josh running towards me. No. He was running towards the door. As he was about to turn the knob, I screamed at him to stop.

“What the!”
“Josh, no! Don’t open that.”

I watched him scurry in the other direction.

I waited there for a while. “No one is coming,” I thought to myself, “so might a well try this once more” and I opened the door and jumped. Midway, I again went out. I opened my eyes and I was in the hut. Except it was the chemist’s room. Josh sat in front of me and there I was, sitting right next to him, ready to gulp the pill. I was the chemist, now. I stopped the other me, grabbed the pill from “his” hand and had it myself. Once again I was on the tube and I was watching my life on the tele. Once again, I watched myself gulp the pill in the chemist’s hut.

“Alright! So I am still in that damn hut.”

I got off the train and ran towards the door. As the weary old doorman stepped out of the dark, I landed a punch on him, opened the door and pushed him down the darn hole. No more warnings for anyone anymore. Then, I followed him happily into the oblivion.

But only this time, I woke up to find myself lying on the other side of the door. I looked up to find Josh running towards the door, towards me. Once again, I couldn’t move, restricted by some invisible wall. So I lay hidden in the shadows. He reached for the door, opened it and kept on looking in. I don’t think he was planning on taking the step. Instead, he began to turn away.

“Off you go!”

A single kick sent him flying across the door and into infinity. Then I slammed the door shut. This should soon be over, I thought. Except, I saw Josh running towards the door again.

“Josh! Stop!”
“Fuck!” He began to turn away.
“No! Stop! It’s me, Mark. Wait! Fuck! Josh!”

I saw him disappear. Once again, I opened that door and leapt. I kept on falling. I was no longer in shock, so I no longer blacked out. Alert as ever, I couldn’t close my eyes. And the fall wouldn’t break. Seconds turned to minutes turned to hours turned to days turned to months turned to years. Sometime in the middle, I passed out. When I woke up, it was on the other side of the door and a Josh was running towards me.

By Sukrit Nagaraj

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