How Contempt for The Ego Inhibits Our Spiritual Growth

Susie Guran
Sep 7, 2018 · 3 min read

“This will result in ego death and the ego doesn’t want to die.” “We’re all going to set our egos aside and . . . “ “In order to — — , we need to destroy the ego.”

Phrases like these show up often when we’re engaged in spiritual practices with others and working hard to evolve into more loving beings. The irony is that our attitude toward the ego is violent. I’m here to suggest that we not try to maim, mutilate or otherwise injure or destroy the ego to escape its influence. That we not exploit it’s vulnerability as a stepping stone in our eagerness for growth. That we not sneer at it or abandon it. Contempt for the ego just adds one more thick, gooey layer of confusion to our journey.

Our ego is the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for a sense of personal identity — the identity we ultimately need to see beyond to find peace. It’s an assemblage of all that our subconscious mind has deemed valuable or necessary to ensure our safest navigation through the world. Why are we trying to destroy it?

Our cold feelings toward the ego may well be the reason why the deepest shreds of our egoic drives are so hard to overcome. The truth is that the ego — our once valued persona in the world — is an amazing creative accomplishment, and from the get go only had our best interests at heart.

Yes, it’s true that the ego can be overreactive, irrational, unproductive and overprotective in ways that run counter to our best interests . . . BUT it is also one of the greatest compositions of our lives and came into being to serve and protect us. Therefore, it is my suggestion that we alter our relationship to it; that we honor the ego, recognize its brilliance, and lovingly allow it to disembark without violence.

The last blast of our spiritual evolution relies on unification and collaboration, even with our egos. Just like any entity, the ego needs to be acknowledged and valued if it’s to harmonize with us in any way. The ego will get closer and louder when you stop shoving it down and pushing it away, as it always remains true in its devotion to your well being. Your growth will accelerate. Your pain will escalate, but it will be of much shorter duration. The ties that bind will seem to fall away with less and less effort.

Turning away from the ego in disgust ignites shame. It’s shame that’s at the root of our futile behavior. It’s shame that fouls up our ability to see and think straight. We don’t need any more shame.

Let’s not vilify the ego. Let’s turn toward it with curiosity. Let’s recognize its multilayered brilliance and its sincerity in trying to serve us.

Our job here is not to destroy, but to separate from the ineffectual, primitive hub of the ego’s anatomy. The process is touched by grace when we learn to love and honor our way through with an inquisitive heart. The ego isn’t great at bidding us farewell (they say) but really, are we giving it a chance?

Susie Guran

Written by

In humble service to humanity as a writer, healer, teacher, mother, artist and friend.

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