How Our Addiction to Our Devices Hurts Us and What We Can Do About It

Co-authored by Mona Shattell, PhD, RN, FAAN, Department Chairperson & Professor at Rush University College of Nursing.

Starbucks unveiled this year’s holiday cup with images that symbolize connection, love and giving joy, says Jordan Kay, this year’s Starbucks Creative Studio illustrator. The symbolism is lovely, if not a little ironic.

Despite the constant virtual connection to anyone in the world (via Smartphone’s, Apple watches and other devices), we’re actually feeling more isolated and lonelier than ever. In fact, nearly 72 percent of Americans admit to feeling alone and isolated from others. And that’s not good. Studies show that those with few social connections experience higher levels of stress and are at greater risk of heart disease, cancer, and autoimmune disorders.

As human beings, we crave connection. These connections not only help us feel alive, valued, and loved, but our happiness and health actually depend on it. Although there are many reasons why people can feel lonely (e.g., depression, physical isolation, divorce and death of a loved one) the one that is most insidious, and seemingly controllable, is our mindless use of smartphones and other devices.

Let’s just admit it: We are addicted to our smartphones. Nearly 81 percent of us have phones, and spend nearly four hours a day using them. One in five people admit to using their phone during sex; 40 percent use it while on the toilet; 12 percent while showering; 75 percent in the middle of the night; and one in four admit to texting while driving.

Have you ever counted how many times you checked your phone during the day? If you fall into the bucket of the “average” user, you’re touching your phone 2,617 times a day, and for extreme users, this number jumps to 5,400 times a day. Bottom line, people would rather give up sex and food than lose their connection to their phones.

While our phones are integral to our personal and professional lives, our addiction to them — now referred to as “nomophobia” (no mo, no mobile; phobia, irrational fear) comes at a cost. And, it turns out that the particular cost depends on your age and generation.

So, what’s the cost, who’s addicted and why, and what can we do about it? Here is what the experts are saying.

Let’s start with the iGen (or Gen Z), ages 5–22 (i.e., born between 1995 and 2012) — — who, if you can believe, don’t remember a time without the internet. If you have a kid or know a kid in this age group, giving them a phone may be like providing them with cocaine. Studies show their addiction to social media can be just as addictive and destructive as alcohol and drugs. Not only do 50 percent of adolescents admit to having a digital addiction, but 72 percent feel constantly distracted by the urgent need to respond to texts and social media posts. Although this group is physically safer than generations before (less drinking, sex, and holding off on getting their driver’s licenses), they are “on the brink of the worst mental health crisis” in recent history. With higher phone use comes less sleep, more unhappiness, depression, social isolation and suicidal ideation.

Similar to iGens, millennials/Gen Y (born between 1977 and 1995) and baby boomers (born between 1946 and 1964) people 18–65+ have a large share of the smartphone market, and this group also is addicted. Nearly 46 percent of Americans say they can’t live without their devices. Not only is the attachment to their devices stressing people out, it’s affecting their ability to focus and be productive at work, and their mental health.

Our digital addictions are bad for us, and they’re destroying our relationships.

If you’re in a romantic relationship, and you feel like your partner frequently snubs you because they’re more interested in their phones (aka — “phubbing”) — you aren’t alone. Nearly 46 percent of people feel the same way. Not only might this behavior be causing a strain in your relationship, it may end up leaving the “phubbed” partner more depressed and less satisfied in the relationship, and life.

Addiction to devices is also bad for parent-child relationships. Kids’ tantrums may be tied to parents’ screen time. Although it’s too early to say this with 100 percent certainty, research shows that parents who are connected to their phones or other technology, may be contributing to their kids’ behavioral issues, such as acting out, crying or other negative behaviors.

Even though 65 percent of Americans believe a digital detox is good for their mental wellbeing, less than 30 percent actually do. Why is this? For starters, this addiction is real. It’s not imaginary. As a matter of fact, tech insiders from Google and Facebook have admitted that they have hacked our brains. During a CBS interview, former Google exec Tristan Harris stated our phone addiction is like playing a slot machine. Each time we check it, there’s a part of the brain that gets a little high as it releases dopamine just in the anticipation that we are going to see something in a text, tweet, FB post, etc. that boosts our pleasure.

While it’s true that endless ways of staying connected is provided by our devices, it’s time we learn how to limit the amount of time we spend on them.

If the mere idea of powering down is making your heart race, and palms sweat — take a breath. There’s no need to panic. According to Colier, author of The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World, you can start curbing your digital dependence by starting small with these three simple tips:

• “Start by recognizing how much digital use is really needed, say, for work or navigating or letting family members know you’re OK, and what is merely a habit of responding, posting, and self-distraction.”
• “Make little changes. Refrain from using your device while eating or spending time with friends, and add one thing a day that’s done without the phone.”
• “Become very conscious of what is important to you, what really nourishes you, and devote more time and attention to it.”

Perhaps the next time you get a Starbucks coffee, you’ll hold that holiday cup, put the phone out of sight and on silent mode, and really connect with the person you’re with. Our relationships, and our mental and physical health, will be better for it.