Looking Back on the Past Year

Looking back on the past year and the year before that, nothing feels quite the same, does it? It feels like the world has flipped on its head. I, personally, have become a lot more paranoid than I used to be. I can’t even imagine going back to the old times now. The times when we could hug people, shake hands, go to carnivals or just have takeout dinner. I remember yesteryear before my school was about to open in March after the winter break, my Mom took me and my sister out to a restaurant that served traditional cuisines. The restaurant had wooden interiors which is the first thing that got me interested in this place. It had wooden carvings everywhere, which made me feel like I was somewhere in 20th century France. It felt very nostalgic to be there, almost as if I had been there before. It had a historical ambience and aura to it which appealed to my inner historian a little too much. The place also had those hanging plants in small baskets which provided some freshness to the whole environment and elevated my psyche to a place of calm.

Usually, when I had been out to eat before, I had almost always wanted to use my mantra of eat-and-run in every situation. Maybe, it’s because I’m socially awkward or maybe it is just that like millions of others, a quiet dinner with Netflix always has an edge in my schedule. Whatever it may be, that day, I didn’t want to just eat and run, I wanted to stay and enjoy my delicious Kanti which is a meat dish in which the meat is first marinated with a lot of flavourful spices, then it is fried and steamed with colourful vegetables which provide novelty to the dish. While I was waiting for my delight, I sat on the window side of the sofa. I looked out the window to see cars racing to get to their destinations, people shouting at each other, dogs barking at birds and people running around back and forth. Watching that noisy view provided the perfect contrast to the calm I was feeling inside. I felt safe and organized while the rest of the universe seemed to be a cluttered jumble. When my plate arrived, it didn’t taste much but I still didn’t regret coming to eat there. After we finished eating, it was time to bid adieu to the chateu of serenity I had built at an unknown place in just a couple of hours. I stood up from my seat and as I walked towards the exit, I could feel leaving with both, a full stomach and mind. I promised to myself that I’d come here on a Sunday or a holiday but that promise never materialized.

To my fate, the entire world couldn’t go to any eatery the entire year. Even though there is some relaxation in the lockdown now, I still haven’t gone out to eat or anywhere else for that matter. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be the same since I’d be counting the seconds when my mask wasn’t on or I’d be too busy checking the kitchen to make sure everything was happening by the SOPs. So, I guess, we’re back to our same old couch with the good old Netflix. Can you imagine the irony of that, when I didn’t want to go out, I could but when I do want to, I can’t. At this point, a dialogue from Hamlet comes to mind, "There is a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will?". No one ever knows what destiny has in store for us. If someone told me two years back that the entire world would stop for a virus, I would’ve laughed long and hard at this joke but right now a worse nightmare than our reality doesn’t come to mind.

Last year was worse for some more than others. A lot of people lost a lot of things this past year. I was yesterday watching a UNICEF campaign which said that the situation in refugee camps like the ones in Yemen has worsened beyond words due to the pandemic. The people there already had so little but now, even finding food for the day is a major challenge that many are failing at. UNICEF is trying to help but the situation is a lot more complicated now. I encourage people to try to put themselves in their shoes and imagine dying due to hunger. At this moment, I’m just really grateful for the food at my table. Anyhow, I wish for a time when going out could somewhat be normal for all of us. The past year has been traumatic, to say the least, but this cloud, like any other, has a silver lining as well. We got to spend a lot more time with our families and got to grow a lot personally which we otherwise, never took the time to do. I started to get a lot more into writing and even started my podcast. So, in all honesty, it wasn’t all bad but I think this one is going to be somewhat better for all of us, at least that is what I hope for.