What exactly does it mean to exist? I have been thinking about this lately and maybe I just have too much free time on my hands or this is an early mid-life crisis. I don’t actually think I can even describe what it means to exist or to be alive and many smarter people than myself have given it a go for centuries. So rather than define existence I think I can describe the different states one may be in when one is alive and how that may lead to satisfaction or Happiness in one’s life. I’m such an engineer, this is a state machine for life. This may only apply to me.

Sumbry’s States of Existing defines three states that one who is alive may be in at any instant in time. While it is healthy and normal to move between all three states most individuals will have a default state that they spend the majority of their time in. I’ll also argue that ultimate Happiness comes from the ability to move between the outer states at will and to ultimately avoid the inner state. Spending some time in the inner state will ultimately lead to more appreciation of the outer states.

Let’s examine these three states in detail keeping in mind that one can only transition to the state that borders their current state.

Struggling

striving to achieve or attain something in the face of difficulty or resistance

When you’re in the Struggling State you are having a hard time just making ends meet. If you’re thinking Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs then your physiological needs or basic needs like food, housing, transportation, health, etc may not be met. When one is in the Struggling State you will use up all of your daily mental energy or brainpower to just to eek by. Your moments of Happiness are few and far between because you have focused so much energy on just meeting your basic needs. It is difficult to move out of the Struggling State.

Surviving

to get along or remain healthy, happy, and unaffected in spite of some occurrence. to endure

Unlike the Struggling State when you’re in the Surviving State all of your basic needs are met. This is the state that many are in where life just sort of happens and you accept it. In first world countries this is also know as the: Goto College, Get Married, Buy A House, Have 2.5 Children, Get Divorced, Get Remarried, then Die Life Loop. The older generation also refers to this state as the Rat Race.

Happiness abounds in the Surviving State because you’ve accepted your place in life. You have the ability to take more out of life at will. For example, if you want to travel to a foreign place you can usually do this in the Surviving State pretty easily. You need to be careful however as you are usually only a mistake or two away from falling from the Surviving State to the Struggling State. It is normal to routinely fall back into the Struggling State and have to climb out again over the course of one’s life.

Striving

to make strenuous efforts toward any goal. to exert oneself vigorously and try hard

Most people will spend a small part of their life in the Striving State and some will spend a majority of it. This is the state where you are busting your ass, where you are pushing the boundaries, where your sole existence is to try and reach some ultimate goal at the expense of everything else. For a small few the act of Striving brings about Happiness but for most people Striving is an ends-to-a-means and the Happiness comes afterwards when they fall back into the Surviving State having reached their goal.

So if we accept that there are (at least) Three States of Existing then how does that apply to myself? Well that one is easy, I am only happy when I’m Striving towards some ultimate goal. I usually wont care when I actually reach that goal because it means that it is time to pick a new goal and Strive towards that.

I am not happy just Surviving. I’ve noticed that many of those around me, both friends and co-workers aren’t either. We’re not satisfied with the status quo. We constantly push ourselves and those around us. We want the option to be able to fall back to the Surviving State at will to “recharge” but the more relentless Strivers don’t even want that (looking at you Elon Musk).