Friendships and what it means
In this age of social media, we can easily amass Facebook friends at the click of a button. As we get older, the numbers of friends usually increases (unless you’re really so annoying that people unfriend you). But do we really have more friends today compared to years ago, or have we just made more acquaintances along the way? Who are our friends? And what do friendships mean?
I met my best friend when I was 13. I cared for her more than anything else in the world. We were inseperable. For years to come, our friendship stayed strong despite the fact that we went to different schools and we were living in different countries. Whenever something important happened, we will call each other — even if the other person is halfway round the globe. I sometimes place this friendship above my boyfriends or my family. And I thought this friendship will be forever. After all, it has been going strong for 15 years, what could go wrong?
Yup you guessed it, something went wrong. A string of events happened (which I cannot disclose the details of here) and we have not spoken for about one and a half years now. This was when my lifelong idea of friendship was shattered and I started to think about what friendships really meant.
When I was younger, I thought friends will be forever. As I walk along in life, I will make good friends and keep them forever. I imagine it like collecting those precious stones as you walk along the beach and keeping them in a jar. And when I get older, my jar will get fuller if I spend some tender loving care to take care of them.
Over the years, I have learnt otherwise. With more global mobility in today’s world, I have lived in multiple countries for periods of time. Each time I move to a new place, I start afresh — friendships and all. I’ve been incredibly lucky that my personality allows me to be able to make good friends and connect with people easily. I have formed close friendships wherever I lived and we had wonderful times together.
BUT, there’s always a time we need to say goodbye. And what happens after that? After we all move on to new phases of our lives?
We try to keep in touch. We tell each other we miss our times together. We try to Skype regularly. But as life catches up with us, we move on in our new lives, we make new friends, we form new social circles. Then we get continuously swept forward by the currents of life and we could only bring along with us the memories of good times together.
I’m very grateful I still keep in touch with a handful of them regularly. And I still have a group of close friends from high school that I meet regularly and stay connected on a daily basis via Whatsapp group chat. With the others, I used to feel upset that I am no longer as close to them as I used to be. But I have learnt to tell myself that it was great we once had great times together, and it’s part of life that we all move on. We are still friends, of course, but we are now closer friends with others at this point in our lives.
Like streams and rivers, people meet and join at some points along the way. Sometimes it’s just two streams joining, and sometimes it may be a few joining at the same point. You may stay as one flow for a short moment or for a long time, and eventually, you split up and go in different directions when an obstacle comes along the path of flow. Maybe you will rejoin again someday, maybe you won’t. And along your new-found path, you will meet other streams or rivers and join up with them. And perhaps, that’s the beauty of friendships.
Email me when Leah publishes or recommends stories