Humble beginnings; low expectations

I grew up in a humble, low to middle income traditional family of 4. My father was the sole breadwinner, having to support my family and my grandparents. We had enough to survive and to get an education (thank God for that), but not the fancy toys nor enrichment classes other kids were getting.

My parents never had high expectations of me; both of them started working right after high school. I was just expected to pass my examinations and move on to finish my education.

But I had dreams and goals

Since I was a child, I had always asked myself this “If he/she can do this, why can’t I?” And that kept me pushing myself, one baby step at a time.

At 12, we had to take a national examination and apply for the schools we wanted to go. I applied for the top 3 schools in the country and my mum thought I was silly. You see, we only had three choices and if our scores didn’t make it to those choices, we would be randomly allocated a school. The schools I had picked are only for the top students. My mum asked me to pick some second or third-tier schools as one of my choices. Just in case.

At 12, I thought mum’s advice is always the best so I gave in. But I kept my top choice with a glimmer of hope. I worked real hard and I made it. I went to the school that was my first choice.

That has been the turning point. I started dreaming bigger.

At 16, I wanted to help my dad with his financial burden. I started giving tuition and made $400 a month which more than covered my personal allowance.

At 19, I wanted to be free of financial worries as I attend college so I could do the things I enjoyed. I applied and got myself a full scholarship that allowed me to join activity clubs and do the same things as my peers — attend movies etc.

At 21, I dreamt of living abroad. My college had an exchange program but it would cost USD 10 — 15 K at least to fund it. I had saved up much of my scholarship money but that still wasn’t sufficient. I applied for another scholarship (awarded to 2 out of 3000 students in my college) and was the happiest person when I passed the interview and received USD 4 K to help finance my trip to Europe.

At 23, I graduated from college and was looking for a typical job like everyone else. A small miracle happened (I’ll leave this story for another day) and I got a job at one of the top 3 global management consulting firms. I still remember the shock on my mum’s face as she looked at the salary amount on the contract that was couriered to my home, together with a bottle of champagne. She took out the calculator and kept pressing the buttons and still could not believe it. The amount may not a lot to many people but it was 3 times what my dad made every month.

Then what next?

Life had been smooth. I had my goals at every stage and I just single-mindedly worked hard at achieving them. And I did, mostly.

Growing up, I had a mental list of things I had hoped I’d get to do before I turn 50.

1. Travel around the world
2. Live and work in a different country
3. Speak a third language
4. Dress in a business suit and sit in a high-floor office (silly, I know)
5. etc etc

I am not yet 30, but I had fulfilled most of them on this original list.

And that’s when I woke up one day and felt lost. I had nothing I was really running towards anymore. I was comfortable. But something was missing. What was it?