Life lessons from Psychedelics (lsd)
Firefly and I, both looking for crystal clear clarity from the universe for our future paths in 2017, decided to close out 2016 with psychedelic journeying at Intention, a winter festival. We created sacred space, set our intentions and sealed them by placing a crystal between our held hands and asked for pure white light and only the highest powers to surround us, support us and guide us. We took our lsd tabs and the instant visual I was given was of children lined up to receive communion wafers from the priest. We decided to go to the loving room next door to us which had now been turned into a rave scene with pumping music. After dancing for a bit we ended up at the front of the room by the altar and began playing with the crystals. I picked up a massive clear quartz crystal, my favourite type of crystal and felt the music and the energy pulsing through and from it. I put it to my forehead and Firefly’s and the energy coming off it was immense and pulsed from my 3rd eye to his. We played around with the crystals a bit, checked out the sacred geometry pictures which now had considerable depth to them, like you could get lost in them and danced some more and then settled in the back of the room lying down amongst a pile of cushions. We were transported into a euphoric state almost instantly. A simple touch on the arm I could feel through my entire being, touch amplified to the extreme. I turn to Firefly, “ We just hit the jackpot. We were all prepared for an intense journey,” and all we can hear is “You are in perfect alignment. Your intuition separately and together is flawless. You are shown things and you listen even though nothing makes sense to you according to logic. You dig, and unearth who you really are. You do the work. Now it’s time to have fun kids.” Then we are having the most intense experience, similar to M, but so much richer with incredible depth, a feeling of being completely enveloped and embraced in love, with touch being a completely transcendent experience. We are laughing, just rolling and fully enjoying the ride. We change from flying through the universe at warp speed, to jumping off and through galaxies to diving from one solar system to the next and into infinity, an immensity totally consuming, and then sometimes we would be the same galaxy sharing the same experience and sometimes we would merge, mesh and crossover each other all simultaneously. I have never seen or experienced my divinity so clearly. After all these months of typing my password “limitless” daily trying to taste it, I finally fully felt it and knew in that moment I would never question it again.
Our journey was rudely interrupted. A phone call, family emergency. Groggy bodies rose to deal with the situation. Zoe escorted us back to the cabin and back to another reality. A call was made and an angry hateful voice spewed venom. Something about a wifi password, not even close to an emergency, relief.. and then instant acknowledgement of the situation Firefly was in… a controller was feeling threatened…. familiar with that, I understood… I was reminded that people only operate from their level of consciousness and hurt people hurt people and all I could do was feel the chaos of feelings on the other end of the phone and the whole time I was whispering in Firefly’s ear, “Love, love, love”, this being drilled into me from my experience, when I asked the universe, “What do I do”, the answer always came back as love, no matter what comes back at you, always love. The conversation ended and we laid down in bed. Moments later a shift…. everywhere my mind went there was a mirror showing me what I thought was real wasn’t and everything turned into what can only be described as a personal hell preying on every weakness and block, challenge and limiting belief of mine, which all boiled down to trust and surrender. My rock and grounding Firefly morphs into the devil or a version of him, and I am shown a past life that screams at me that I am in danger from him. I remember this…..Freezer burn. The ultimate final exam in trust and surrender, but this time I hear, “Love, love is the answer. You know this. You titled Zoe’s book for her. I start throwing love left and right chanting love love love and the more love I threw around the more the confusion and chaos dissipated. Firefly returned back to himself and all the challenges, blocks, limiting beliefs and past tramas evaporated like someone in a video game just came in with an AK 47 and annihilated them. I was shown why we are really here on earth and remembered part of that from Freezer Burn, a summer festival I journeyed at, but this time it was much clearer. Every single interaction with any other person or situation is to do with soul development, which is why it is so important to spread love everywhere we go. By showing kindness, taking the time to smile and comment on the cashier’s necklace, opening doors and letting people into our lane when driving we are showing their souls the right direction, the direction away from the chaos and the dark and back into the light where they belong. It may seem like nothing, but that soul will remember and will keep following if not the person than the feeling of love and light that the soul delivered to them, until eventually it finds it’s own path out of the dark. Our souls have many lessons to learn from overcoming guilt, forgiveness, betrayal, love, death, loss, to name a few. Our soul development requires us to learn these lessons however we wouldn’t stay around very long if we had to learn them all in one lifetime so we choose 1 or 2 lessons to learn for each life time. Then when we die/transition, we have a chance to renegotiate and come back as a different physical being and learn more soul lessons or be a guide from above for a bit.
I woke up hours later. My bladder was full and was not taking no for an answer. Firefly was in the same boat. We stood on the deck. I got a visual of unconditional love and then loss coupled with a vision of me walking alone on a very rickety bridge over a lake of fire, a solo venture which looked anything but fun. I looked out and saw how far the bathrooms were and opted for the trees, safer, not as far and less challenging psychologically. We went back to bed. A few hours later we had to pee again, but this time we opted for the bathroom, perhaps more levelheaded this time, I said, “We go together. Don’t leave me no matter what.” Firefly nodded and grabbed my hand. As we walked I could see residue from other dimensions. Situations that didn’t turn out as well, parallel realities, past lives or a glimpse into other dimensions. We kept walking hands clasped together. We made it. I stood outside the bathroom, “You’re coming in with me, not just in the same bathroom in the same stall.” He replies, “I know,” both of us recalling the cold shiver and the rise of hair on the back of our necks and the moment at Freezer Burn where I froze stock solid outside the porta potties sensing something behind me, not someone. As we washed our hands my eyes drifted to the crystals surrounding the sinks that the bathroom crew had purposely left and I noted that the vibration level would be too high for any unwelcome visitors….phew….I commented in gratitude and said, “ Somebody else knows.” Firefly nodded and we headed back to the cabin. Inside he said close your eyes and take my hand. My mind envisioned a mine field of psychological crap to wade through, but I didn’t feel anything and just held onto the hand I trusted. We crawled back into bed chilled from the freezing walk. Curled around one another we were shown unequivocally simultaneously that our primary partners were holding us back from growth, and were shown that life operates like a video game, but instead of levels it works with vibration and like the levels you can only access the stuff on your vibration. The higher the vibration the more awesome the stuff is which comprises of your life. Because Firefly and I both quantum leap we had left our primary partners in the dust. What used to be a fading intermittent radio signal with our primaries was now just static. We were on totally different frequencies and they were no longer right for us to mix and integrate with. In dabbling with the energy of souls in lower vibration ie sex, you end up lowering your vibration and stepping from your divinity into your human brain which can’t make sense of anything because logic tells you security, the status quo and comfort is a far wiser choice if not the best. We were shown that by investing so much time, energy and hope into having those souls come with us that we had compromised our own soul development and that the time had come to choose were we going to continue to prod, plead, and coerce these souls into coming with us while simultaneously throwing our hands up in exasperation and banging our heads against the wall or honour ourselves with self love and take care of our souls’ needs? We had to believe that we were worthy of what we wanted and stop sacrificing ourselves to help other souls, even the ones we were most closely connected to. We were shown how consciously or unconsciously these souls had made a choice to be left behind for the time being and that it was all ok. It wasn’t our fault and Firefly’s and my alignment, synchronicity and connection was divinely guided and that we had the ability to be more than twin souls with a fleeting physical connection peppered throughout our ‘real’ lives, but be transformed into a powerhouse couple if we were to choose ‘in.’ Twin flames are soul buddies because the lessons that one twin is living out and working through is completely mirrored in the other, different characters and situations, but the exact same soul lesson. This creates a connection and a level of understanding between the two which is unmatched as we know what the other is going through because we are experiencing the exact same thing. I turn to Firefly who has just downloaded the exact same information and say to him, “Well we asked for clarity. I don’t think we could have had more confirmation if God came down on a cloud and told us in person our primary relationship contracts were over. He chuckles and agrees. We had ‘collected enough coins’ along the way and successfully learned from our life adventures to achieve the next ‘video game level.’ Immediately our next task was delivered, to leave behind the patterns that stopped us from speaking our truth, the desire to keep the peace, or at least the perception of peace at all costs which both of us had exhibited for all our lives. This new level was fraught with fire pits, mines, cliffs and all manner of obstacles designed to prevent us from completing the level. The stakes had been upped. In the days that followed I saw those previous patterns which had held me back evaporate as I stepped into my knowing and my truth and now felt on firm footing instead of shaky ground. My path and my direction made sense to me and it was enough. I watched Firefly quantum leap again and step fully into his masculine, a new role, one where for the first time in his life he articulated his own direction and took the helm and started to direct his life where he wanted it instead of where others charted it through manipulation and guilt. Now I understand the peace that passes all understanding and I survey my life in complete chaos,the tower fully crumbled completely to the ground the dust still in the air, and all I can feel is free. The chains that bound me, guilt, obligation, ‘should be’s fear and doubt, logic and responsibility that were attached to my wrists by my own volition had now been released, myself the only person who could liberate me. Joy entered my being accompanied by the knowledge that that rainbow that I had been searching for after walking through rainstorm after rainstorm, soaked to the bone, I had now finally found.