Learning to apologize.

And to stop inviting pain into my home.

Much of our pain and suffering are self-created, initiated, and mostly built in the empty spaces of our mind. And I am a classic artist at this.

Over a period of time, I’ve come to realize that I am an asshole to myself. I invite pain into my home like it’s meant to lurk around even when I’m asleep and endure it through tough means. I guess there’s nothing noble about suffering when it’s self-made. I mean self-made people must be celebrated and self-made suffering must be abhorred. Because these wounds aren’t badges of honour, they’re simple remnants of stupidity which could have avoided with a presence of mind.

But hey, talking about emotions, when did I ever use my presence of mind? When did I ever?

When it comes to issues like this, I’m not alone. I’m certain there are many individuals out there who hurt themselves for no absolute reason. Maybe we think we are not good enough or we think we deserve this pain. I don’t know what we think, but this suffering is absolutely insufferable.

I apologize too much. But do I ever stand in front of the mirror, look at my reflection and apologize to myself for all that I’ve put myself through? Nope. Nada. Zilch. I think, more than to anyone, I owe it to myself. I owe it to me for always signing up for ruthless mistakes relentlessly. Sure, that’s how human beings grow, but I should also know how to pick my battles wisely. To understand which mistakes could be avoided. Sometimes, when love stops, we shouldn’t stop too. We should learn to love ourselves because as Carrie Bradshaw said, the most relationship you have is with yourself.

So, yeah, tonight, I’m going to apologize to myself. And learn to stop when it hurts. What about you?

Tune for the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwh0fCaYs_4

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