ISB Clubs Rank 1st
In a recent ranking published by the BJ News, ISB ranked first under “The Best International Schools in Beijing.”
According to BJ News, the ranking underwent a meticulous process of counting the clubs at each high school- ISB recorded 120, easily topping other schools that recorded significantly lower numbers of clubs- DCB: 31, WAB: 28, BSB: 13, BISS: 5, the regression continues.
“We finally beat WAB at something that isn’t math,” said one spokesman of ISB’s administration.
“We’re truly impressed by the amount of opportunities that ISB provides to its students,” said Eddy Turr of BJ News.
Intrigued by ISB students’ impressive achievement, headmasters from DCB and WAB have conducted visits to the ISB campus, in hopes of catching a glimpse of the hidden motivations among ISB’s student organizations. During this process, many organizations have been interviewed to share what a daily meeting looks like at their organization.
Help Facilitate Humans, or HFH, was identified the largest organization at ISB, with over 80 High School students involved in the club. “Most of our meeting time is used wisely to take attendance of the extremely passionate members who are willing to help our local community,” said one of the Co-Chairs of HFH. “It feels rewarding to attend the meeting every week. No other clubs know the exhilaration of marking in the attendance status of 80 people.”
Another reputable club at ISB was Members Unaware-of News, commonly referred to as MUN. “This is a club for the extraordinarily talented students who excel at speaking,” said Ver Bouse, the teacher supervisor of the club. When describing what a typical MUN student entails, he said, “It’s simple. MUNers all have exceptional abilities in coming up with brilliant excuses for handing in late assignments. Does that give you an idea?”
“BS-ers, we’re often called,” added Waitu-Mach Touking, an executive chair of MUN, who was apparently chosen as the Secretary General of BEIMUN for his impressive upbringing and his equally admirable name that perfectly fit the motto of ISB MUN.
He was able to tell us the club’s motto, which they had hidden from the rest of the community for years: “BS your way in, and BS your way out. Good things will happen to you.”
The Break, was identified as the undercover High School Newspaper- literally.
“Nobody knows about The Break. It’s a sad reality,” said Maastr Bser, the Editor-in-Chief of the club, who was surprisingly involved in MUN as well.
“Our copies of The Break during every release season contributes the most to the members of the Environment branch in Roots & Shoots, who perform the arduous task of carrying piles after piles of thrown away copies of our articles to the dump truck,” said Funiel Dam, the Managing Editor of The Break.
Donate Your Passion (DYP), was one of the newest clubs started at ISB. The club was found by a junior who was allegedly suffering from extreme anxiety and nagging from his parents to go to Stanford.
“He was barely alive. He survived on coffee,” said one of his friends, who also told the headmasters, that he was currently under strict treatment regimen from psychiatrists. Upon vigorous investigation, they were able to reach out to the student.
“We are a business charity organization, that attempts to conduct business projects to donate 100% of our money to local charities!” said Stark Lee, who boldly claimed the future success of the club, which will eventually grow to become an Internationally renowned charity organization.
Upon their visit to the school, representatives from WAB and DCB were slightly relieved.
“It was enjoyable, some of the students had funny names, haha,” said the headmaster of DCB
“It would have been nice for us to also visit the student council. I wonder what lovely things they do in their meetings,” said the representative from WAB.
They left without a single comment on the clubs.