Can I give you some feedback?

Sunil Rajasekar
Sep 9, 2018 · 3 min read

The path to world class is to keep improving day in and day out. No matter where you start and your talent level, as long as you are continuously improving, you will achieve great things whether you are a programmer or a financial analyst. A vital tool to continuously improve is to seek feedback from others. It is surprising how little this tool is used and how most view this as just their manager’s responsibility. On the flip side, the ability to give meaningful feedback makes you a great colleague/manager. A characteristic of a great leader is someone who is focused on making everyone around them better and knowing how to give feedback is a key skill to do that.

Here are some thoughts on how to use this tool yourself and how to seek and give valuable feedback.

For the provider

1. Be Generous — View this as a gift that you can give to your peers, subordinates or your manager.

2. Make some deposits before you make some withdrawals — What I mean is that you need to build a relationship especially before you can give someone very candid feedback on what they could improve.

3. Be specific/give actionable feedback — As opposed to telling someone that they are a good presenter (or not) tell them why you think so. i.e. The fact that they used humor, used a lot of personal examples etc.

4. Provide it real time- This is huge. I am a big fan of same day feedback. Feedback on an interaction from a month ago or even a few days ago is not as effective. I often say the worst feedback is the one you hear at your review for the first time.

5. Feedback on the action and not the person — Self explanatory.

6. Some feedback is best in private — Apply judgment. IMHO almost all feedback on improvement opportunities at an individual level is best given in private

For the receiver/solicitor

1. Be specific — Flip side of point 3 above. Ask for feedback on specific areas. Ex. “Did I speak slowly and clearly” etc.

2. Be proactive — Use every opportunity to solicit feedback and don’t wait for mid year or focal review.

3. Don’t be defensive — Be in listening mode when you get feedback. Fight the urge to go on the defensive. No matter what you might think, this is the giver’s perspective which is their truth.

4. Focus on your strengths and weakness — Don’t forget to get feedback on your positive areas as well so you can continue to hone them.

5. Identify your own board members — Identify 3–5 people who can enlist as your own personal board members and request them to always keep an eye on how you are doing and provide you feedback.

Here are 2 really good examples recently where 2 people asked for specific feedback proactively.

Example 1

Hi Sunil — Something that I forgot to mention…. I am trying to improve my communication skills. If you have any feedback, positive or negative, regarding the method, structure and content in the meetings, emails and minutes that I have been providing, could you please share? That would help me to continue to improve and grow as a leader. The most useful for me would be constructive feedback or any opportunities to improve. Thanks!

Example 2

Hi Sunil,

Quick favor: I am sometimes unaware of how I come across. I want to increase my self-awareness in order for me to be able to modulate better and become more relaxed and also more inquiry vs advocacy. Would you mind shooting me a few bullets on how you perceived me in our meeting just now?

These are folks who understand the value of getting pointed feedback. Go ahead…don’t delegate this to your manager… seek and give feedback proactively and regularly. It will help you tremendously and everyone around you.