Effective Parenting
Responding to expectations of teenagers
Parenting… a beautiful word as well as a feeling that changes the life of every individual the moment an infant steps in. Though the definition might say that it’s the process of raising and caring for a child from infancy to adulthood, it includes so many emotions and a wide range of responsibilities. Providing physical, emotional, and social care, and helping them to grow into responsible citizens can be a challenging and rewarding experience at the same time. Every individual has unique needs and personalities and understanding these requires every parent to be patient while the child is growing.
We all know that as parents providing for the basic needs of the child, nurturing and supporting them, and creating positive reinforcement to develop a sense of self-discipline is a part of parenting but encouraging the child’s intellectual and educational growth is also equally important.
While parenting is always challenging the most difficult part turns out to be the time when our child becomes a teenager. The expectations of teenagers are different from those of toddlers, and they vary depending on their individual experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives. Teenagers often expect their parents and society to understand them as they traverse through the challenges of adolescence. They expect a safe and secure environment where not only can they bloom but would be allowed to make mistakes without being judged. As normal individuals, they command respect and expect to be listened to. Though they are aware of the importance of education for their personal growth and as parents we do make all efforts to give them access to quality education with all other co-curricular activities, they expect to be given the freedom to explore their interests and make their own choices, while still being provided with guidance and structure to help them make informed decisions.
The problem is that we as parents try to achieve our unfulfilled dreams through our children and that’s where the struggle starts. The condition has worsened after the pandemic as the children have started feeling more comfortable in the company of gadgets since gadgets don’t judge them. So, where does the perfect solution lie? I can give my point of view as a parent though I have also seen turbulent times things were easier as I learned to stay calm. I am now more than a friend to my child. Half of the battle was won the moment I gave him space, allowed him to take his own decisions, and stood by him. I respect him as an individual and trust him. So, what did I do? Well, the first thing that was very clear from the day he was born was open communication. I listened to him and tried to understand his perspective. We have a lot of meaningful conversations but at times also enjoy the so-called pun talks. The expectations and consequences were set very clearly to create stability. The sense of self-confidence was built by encouraging him to take on responsibilities and allowing him to make independent decisions. I ensured that I lead by example and let him learn by watching me. I was very open to critical analysis and also to adapting myself as per the requirements. Of course, it is not that I could be with him in everything he did; I could not share his interests, hobbies, and activities. But the mutual understanding between us was so clear that he allowed me space and everything fell into place.
We as parents need to realise that during puberty, teenagers experience a range of physical and emotional changes that can be challenging to cope with. So, it’s better to have open and honest communication that can help your teenager to understand what’s happening to their body. Explain the changes they can expect and address any concerns they may have.
We all undergo mood swings even as adults so it’s okay to let our child know that it’s normal to feel moody, irritable, and anxious during this time. With positive reassurance, they will come out of it. Let them talk about their feelings and experiences without us being judgemental.
But yes, in case your teenager is still struggling to cope with their emotions, seek professional help. Just remember with your love, support, and care:
“This too shall pass!”
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