I can’t go on like this!

Photo credit Insideout

This is nuts! I overslept this morning for the first time…ever. If my dog hadn’t decided to sit on me, I’d probably still be out cold. I wasn’t late for work, but I had to rush, and I’m just not a fan of rushing. It usually results in spilled coffee, stained clothes, and an all-around pissy attitude.

I started writing on here because I hoped it would be therapeutic, and that it might help with my Facebook addiction. I was also thinking the extra practice would strengthen my word-finding skills, and make doing my special ed. paperwork easier (that shit is legally binding!). And it has, to some degree.

But, at what price?

As I mentioned in my last piece (Hungover), since I joined Medium, I haven’t been getting enough sleep. Some people can function just fine on five or six hours, but I am definitely not one of them. Anything less than seven, and I turn into a crazy lady.

I’m struggling in other ways, as well. For example, instead of taking my thyroid medicine first thing, I’m making a beeline for the laptop the moment I wake up. I’ve gone from forgetting (maybe) three times a year, to three times in the last month! And, believe me, when I don’t take it, I’m a little loopy.

I’m blowing off other healthy habits, too. I’m drinking more coffee than water. I’m waiting until I’m almost passed out to eat. I’m opting for peanut butter sandwiches instead of cooking, because it’s faster. Not that I’m much of a cook anyway, but I’m not chopping and dicing much of anything, which means I’m eating less vegetables. I went from making good choices 95% of the time, to a healthy/not-so-healthy ratio of about 80/20. And, if you read this, you know I can’t afford to lose any more organs!

I’m feeling this sense of urgency to publish, and it needs to stop now. I find myself sitting in front of the computer, all hunched over, holding my breath, and I know something has to give. And did I mention, I never finished the meditation challenge I started? I’m a meditation challenge dropout! Ugh.

I honestly thought I had this time-management thing under control. Of course, that was during spring break!

So much for Balance.

Even if I had the talent (and the $$$) to try this writing thing full-time, I don’t think I would. I admit, my job stresses me the hell out sometimes, but it also gives me a sense of purpose, makes me feel like I’m actually contributing to society in some way.

So, since I want to continue to teach AND write (while still remaining healthy), I need a plan. And, here it is, in no particular order (warning — it looks suspiciously like a listicle):

  • I will not touch the laptop until I’ve taken my meds. and fed the dog.
  • I will keep my laptop on the counter. If I want to write, I must stand.
  • I will use my bookmarks more effectively. I do not have to read everything now.
  • If I am sitting and reading on Medium, I must be holding (and preferably playing) my guitar.
  • I will write every day, but will not push myself to publish every day.
  • I will not press refresh (fifteen times!)to check for notifications while I am trying to write. I suck at multi-tasking.
  • I will not touch my computer while I’m making dinner. It takes me twice as long when I do. (See multi-tasking comment above.)
  • I will shut the computer down no later than 9 PM when I have to work the next morning.
  • I will keep my bird-feeders filled. They are spread all over the property, and this will at least get me outside and moving everyday.
  • I will sweat at least three times a week.
  • Under no circumstances will I drink less than 64 ounces of water a day, damn it!

I believe, if I make a conscious effort to follow this plan, I should be able to get it all done. I know I will feel better, which will help me think better, which, in turn, should make it easier to write better…a not-so-vicious cycle.

Oh, one last thing to add to the list:

  • I will remember (and apply) the following Eckhart Tolle quote:

Just one deep breath is a meditation.


Which reminds me of a song, of course.

♪♫ In a while now 
I will feel better
I will be better ♫♪

(Lyrics by Shinedown)

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