Cosplaying As Happy

Because I like lying

Sunshine Joe
Aug 24, 2017 · 4 min read

I decided to conduct a social experiment this week to see what would happen if someone did all the things “experts” suggest you do in order to make your life more enjoyable.

First of all, I think that maybe my definition of enjoyable experiences may differ from theirs, but I didn’t think of that before starting this experiment. I also didn’t have a control group. I’m a shit scientist.

The first thing I did was find a subject who was generally unhappy — sometimes for no specific reason. One who often has anger-management issues. Perhaps someone with an acceptable addiction to cheap Prosecco. And maybe someone who just needed a little pick-me-up right now.

I found Me. I was right there all along. Like a breath of hot wind ready to throw rocks at the next car that goes too slow in the passing lane in front of her.

First, I downloaded some apps with meditation exercises. I figured I needed some sort of guide at this point, because counting to ten over and over and over and over again in the middle of the night in order to combat an out of the blue panic attack was getting dull. It also wasn’t working.

I’m enjoying the guided meditation. My favorite is themed “Radiating Love”. I picture myself as E.T., and I suddenly have some sort of heartlight inside my chest, just filling myself with warmth and love and projecting that out into the world for others to share. Then I get Neil Diamond’s “Heartlight” stuck in my head, and that becomes a blistering hell fire that burns in my brain for two days and

shit. Now that song is stuck in my head again. Great.

Okay but, there were other good things to try. Like, SMILING :)

All the smiles :)

I thought this would be the perfect experiment to conduct while working in a coffee shop one morning. I love working in coffee shops. I love the noise, the chaos of other humans and their shitty routines. I think if you like mornings, you’re not in a coffee shop. Therefore, most coffee shops in the morning are full of my people. And we’re not talking to each other.

I’d read somewhere (probably here on Medium) that when you walk in a room you should just start randomly smiling at different faces. Never for very long — you don’t want to look suspicious. Basically, you don’t want to receive a smile in return.

I continued smiling as I maneuvered through getting my drink and prepping for its future deliciousness. “Excuse me,” I would offer with a toothy grin. “Oh, good morning!” I lied to someone whose face I recognized, but whose name I never bothered remembering.

This was going okay. I felt like people were responding warmly to my new, positive presence. What a treasure I was becoming to humankind.

Over the next hour or so I proceeded to work as usual on my laptop. Occasionally smiling unnecessarily at a Slack mention, or looking at my phone when my daughter started texting her list of demands for the day. “I need gas money.” Smile, head tilt of affection for show. “F U. I gave you 20 bucks yesterday, fool.” Grin as my eyes lift to the heavens, in delight of my clearly joyous communique.

Through my peripheral vision, I noticed that clearly people were responding positively to this. It was like they couldn’t stop looking at me. “Why is she so happy?” they were probably whispering to each other. “She must be in love,” I could see the envy and longing in their eyes. I simply graced them with some small smiles in return. I obviously had so much positivity running rampant through my body, passing through my heartlight and such, this entire building would be transformed before I left for the day.

I’d decided that morning’s experiment was a resounding success. I should probably put something in reserve for the afternoon session. I gathered my happy things so I could head to my first meeting for the day.

As I looked down I noticed that two of the buttons on my shirt had apparently broken off in the wash. I hadn’t noticed this getting dressed that morning. And it wasn’t that hard to work backwards to the moment when half of my right boob probably fell out of its authorized location.

:)

___________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading :)

Find more of my work at http://www.scarymommy.com/author/sunshine-joe/

)

Sunshine Joe

Written by

Rated PG-13 Mom with self-diagnosed hypochondria; occasional Illustrator; Writer of sci-fi & bad poetry; Project Manager during the workday

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade