#MusicMemories: Time Travel Day 8

AKA, My rant against Taylor Swift

There was a time during the 80s when everyone liked Debbie Gibson…for about six months. Before we realized that her music was pretty boring, and that R.E.M. existed.

But her music was fun and lovely and innocent, and while it lasted, just made you feel good.

And, you just liked her. You liked Debbie Gibson. She was a scrappy girl from nowhere, with no family connections, with no money, who just had talent and drive, and a willingness to work hard until she could get a record deal. Yes, her star didn’t shine for long, and the music got stale, and we all grew up. But I have no doubt she still laughs when she goes to the bank.

And then there’s Taylor Swift. Whose music SUUUUUUCKS. It has always sucked. It will always suck. It is flat. It is boring. It is often tuneless and dry.

She was a model before she started selling records. Did you know that? Both her parents are extremely wealthy — a long line of financiers going back generations. They moved to Nashville and bought her a ticket to be the next Shania Twain, who also SUUUUUUUCKS.

I feel sorry for all these young humans who have to be inundated with her crappy music, and her glamazon image — paid-for celebrity friends/beaus, unattainable looks, unaffordable “everyday” possessions. They’ll never get to experience the awkward bowler hat wearing, Swatch Watch clad, bottle blonde Debbie, who got us all lost for just a bit — in the time it takes for a slow dance to end with your crush.