New Year’s Revolution

“Looking Up” (Charcoal/digital sketch, credit: Me)

I’m so glad I’ve been posting my New Year’s Resolutions on my blog here over the last few years. It’s been interesting looking back on the various Themes I’ve declared to maintain for each particular year, and to reminisce on what got me to that point in the story of my little life.

Remarkably, I’ve somehow managed to carry each theme throughout each year. So I’ve once again decided on what my mind and my body and my soul need to focus on for 2018:

I need to change how I Relate to my world.

I will explain.

While I’m too old and set in my ways to change anything about my personality, it’s not too late to change how I react and represent myself.

I will explain further.

For my health: I need to get out of this mindset that it’s a good thing that I don’t need much sleep. This isn’t a contest. I’m certainly not winning anything. And no one is impressed. I’m 42 yrs old, and legitimately becoming concerned with what all this lack of sleep could be doing to my brain.

I need to “switch off” a little earlier. I’d also like to start taking naps. I’d like to get in on this whole napping hoopla that everyone keeps going on about.

But most of all, I need to change my relationship with sleep. I need to know that it’s okay to be asleep — that I’m not wasting time, or missing out on anything. I need to be okay with relaxing and taking care of myself, and not just the kind of taking care of myself that will make me look good.

“My Morning Sky” (photo credit: Me)

At work: I need to represent myself better, and advocate for myself a little more. I need to stand up for myself whenever someone tries to shut me down in a meeting, or leaves me out of a conversation.

I need to insist on mentorship for myself, so that I can advance in my career and grow as a professional. I need to help others who are struggling, because they are timid or quiet or too used to being asked to remain in the background.

And outside of my “9 to 5”, I need to stop being so shy about self-promotion. This is hard, because I’m never entirely convinced that what I’ve created should be consumed by anyone but myself. But if I want to grow as a writer and an artist, I’ve got to put myself out there. Which is super scary.

“Shifu” (Ink portrait, credit: Me) & “At Rest” (Charcoal sketch, credit: Me)

For my soul: I need to be honest. I need to stop lying to myself about what’s okay for me, and what I will accept. I need to be honest in my personal relationships, and about my expectations of others. I need to trust my gut a little more, and my eyes a little less. I need to listen, and I need to be heard.

I need to grow up.

I need to be a heck of a lot more concerned with what makes me happy, and brings me joy and contentment. I need to stop trying to please everyone.

If I want that Big Amazing Thing to happen, I’m going to have stop holding myself back, and I’m definitely going to have stop wasting my time.

I wish you all a prosperous and happy new year. Thank you, to everyone who found my blog this past year, and to everyone who’s been following along for a few years now. Much love — Sunny

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