I have been sitting on my hands and they are now aching so here goes:
1) Life is simple. Very simple.
2) “Civilisation” has complicated Life. We complicate it further by incessantly and naggingly questioning every move we make as it pertains to parenting.
3) We are raising our kids in and, of fear. There is confusion and no one “knows” how or what to do, what is the “right” thing or way.
The intuition of the young cannot be ignored. Every single post I have read here is coming from a place of fear, anxiety, doubt and rhetoric. As parenting goes, do not be fooled into thinking that the kids being raised do not know the fear that it is being done with.
4) Stop the doubting, stop being so afraid and start being and acting positive (don’t pretend).
Good Words, Good Thoughts, Good Deeds. Simple. No one can do more than that. Live and act by these values, use less words and quit questioning yourself and the kids.
It’s too uptight. I can feel all this “grown-up” tension and it’s awful.
You say more when you say nothing. (Now I’ve said less).
Reflect but do not believe that your pondering and subsequent “answers” or lack thereof will mean anything to anyone but yourself. If your kids want to talk to you or hang out with you- they will. If they don’t, they will not. Nothing you can say or do will change that.
The kids will take the cue from the energy that you are giving off. If it’s an energy they feel joy in, you will know.
Relax. Be. Love. Simple. Simply.
Khalil Gibran writes beautifully on the subject:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.