A Story of a Fuck Off Fund
Paulette Perhach

Good advice, and makes me reflect on what it means to me. Men also need FoF’s but in some cases it’s not enough. Dozens of men I know had built their hard earned FoF’s but had to give all of it to their wives who divorced them. Those stories are a lot more heart-breaking. It involves losing life savings, their homes, jobs, and children they loved and nurtured (who in turn lost a father) because of how women manipulated the sexist divorce system much like your boss laying his arm on you.

One friend spent 15 years building a business in solitude. He saved his money and invested it until he had confidence to get married and bring kids into this world and always have a nest egg. He is a kind person and a Buddhist I’ve known for some time. He got married and had kids and within a short period, their relationship soured as you described. She left him and tried to take everything. Now, ordinarily only money he earned after they married would be eligible for alimony. He did his research to make sure his hard earned savings account would stay in his control. But she found out he paid one utility bill for their house with his personal account, because that month he found it easier than to transfer money to their joint account as he usually did. Because of this, she was legally able to get alimony from that account. She drained it in the divorce and once he was broke she took the kids. She never even got a job after the divorce and he has been working and paying for 10 years. She “DGAF” [about anyone but herself], just as her feminist leaders taught her. I guess doing whatever you want even if it hurts others is called “empowerment”? The self is what matters most, right?

Anyway, a FoF is very important. I like to think of it as building a wide moat around ourselves. But for some of us, sexism can not only cause us to need a FoF, but it can also rob us of ours. Good luck to all. Much love and peace.

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