Utterly ridiculous. How can you conclude NPD makes a leader a bad one, or more specifically, an absent one? More likely, you’ve been hurt by someone like this. That makes me sad. But according to everyone who’s ever researched this, we’ve had plenty of presidents as narcissistic as Trump, if not even more so, and you can’t conclude that most if not all of them were pretty effective leaders. Google it. In the top 10 you’ve got guys like Woodrow Wilson, Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon, Roosevelt (both of ‘em), and everyone’s favorite narcissist, Andrew Jackson. Have you ever learned why they called Jackson “Old Hickory” in the first place? Check YouTube — the most terrifying president ever elected. Makes Trump look like a pussycat.
Interestingly, most of these guys have a tarnished legacy due to a single instance of applying extremely poor judgement. It’s possible, if not likely, the same will happen to Trump over the next four years. Nevertheless, POTUS is nearly always more narcissistic than the average American. It’s just a degree of how much more. Narcissists can still make good presidents. Their narcissism just make their method of leadership more terrifying. The least narcissistic presidents are generally the ones you forgot the names of or skipped over in history class altogether (re: Millard Fillmore?).
Your story is less about how to deal with a narcissist for keeping your own sanity than it is about how to eviscerate a narcissist and eliminating their fuel. You’re suggesting folks take the high road, which is great. Unfortunately, you’ve convinced yourself that the means justify the ends, which in your case is less about self-help and more about revenge. Case in point, your punitive last sentence. You’re angry and upset. That’s fair. Leave it at that.