My Journey beyond the White Coat
I am a housewife now, a home-maker who has tried hands on different professions. I would say my professional life began with pleasing my loving, hard working and protective parents. Being a bright student can SHUT doors for some rather than open more! A bright student is expected to perform and keep performing better, for herself and for the worth of the parent’s efforts and expectations.
Are the parents wrong in expecting this from the bright child? That’s a different topic altogether.
Coming back to me being a good student and a good girl. I finally landed up Not Knowing what I wanted to do with my life, what I wished to study actually. I knew what I was expected to do and I finally did that with flying colors.
Phase 1
Good gracious, I was soon a Doctor!! A doctor who couldn’t really bear blood, a doctor who couldn’t bear a mom crying while her child’s wound is being stitched, a doctor who feared her treatment might not suit the patient as all individual’s bodies react differently and not all patients are good instruction followers, a doctor who didn’t want to take the responsibility of someone’s Life. A bright doctor on papers but weak at heart!
But I worked because what else would I do with this degree and years of efforts of my parents and myself. They surely planned the very best for me and worked for it.
The very first voice I ever made for myself was Not marrying a doctor and I was heard. I found the love of my life and despite being reached out by doctors and families, We tied knots. He is an educated, responsible, professional, businessman.
Phase 2
During my pregnancy, I was to be at home, resting some bit so just to keep busy I started assisting him and Voila!There was no looking back. But, since I had no related degree or professional qualification so there was a maxim to my set of tasks, but Clinic was not something I wanted to get back to. During this phase 2 of my life, I was a mother, a team manager and client relationship manager for our company and a home maker too, All in One! It was a fulfilling phase.
Phase 3
Government policies changed and affected many businesses not sparing ours too. Personal life hit hard in health matters and hence the finances stumbled. My growing Only child needed me more. I was a stay at home mom still keeping in touch with my clients and team and taking ample care of the family with elders struggling with their health, so do I say a work from home Home-Maker?! Time went by. I didn’t have the time or bandwidth to Think.
Phase 4
Personal matters got settled with time, business wasn’t yet recovered much due to many factors in those past 2–3 years. My child and home and elders still needed me around , had got used to me being around. I needed to work in the house and for the house! I opened a small business, a clothing store very close to my place, with a small investment.
Not to forget, I hadn’t lost touch with my education so free consultations were given in the family and we required to visit doctors only for matters that needed serious attention. But I did question myself time and again, should I have continued medicine? Never got a sure answer.
My husband’s say always was — Do what you feel like, what you feel right for that phase of your life. Education is to support yourself, its not the motive of life. I wasn’t being told what to do or what is right for me. I was free to choose.
I chose my store. Phase 4 saw me working at my store, with my company work that I never left hold of, being a Home Maker, a Mom to a preteen(me entering challenging phase of life!) and that was again fulfilling and frustrating along with. Started taking a toll on my physical health and my patience and mental peace. Too much to handle but running fine.
Phase 5
COVID struck. Everyone shifted to work from home. Businesses suffered, all kinds of businesses. None were spared. Kids were frustrated being shut inside and the only children with no company or activities had their own plight. I was a full time Home Maker struggling with husband for new projects like everyone on the planet might have been. Spent a lot of time with daughter and family but stress prevailed. All were struck twice and survived well. My girl didn’t like the feeling of being enclosed with 4 adults all the time. Life was confusing and uncertain in different ways for everybody.
Phase 6
Things around the world were settling down. Work, business, projects all were finding a new meaning to themselves as also were health, education and parenting, at least for us. We changed city. No more store work, very limited company work for me as industry requirement and work style changed. I was now, I am now a Home Maker! An educated home maker who has tried her hands on many things and gained many life lessons. A mommy who is adored by her teenager ready to step into college. A wife who has always been a part and parcel of all struggles and good times in all manners, a daughter, a DIL, a sibling who has tried to balance all aspects of life and relationships.
What did I gain in this life journey of mine?
I learnt that education of any kind never goes waste but learn what you wish to. As a parent, observe your child’s interests and capabilities and capacities and guide her to learn what she would love to. Help her understand herself and have a voice of her own.
I learnt about people. I was amazed at how many different kinds of people with all kinds of mind sets and behaviors this small world around me could accommodate.
I learnt about money, that nothing stays forever. Prepare yourself for the worst you can think of and be humble when life is at its best. Save for the good and bad times. None gives a warning or a bell.
I learnt about emotional support and the role it can play in re-defining our lives and help us kickstart. I learnt patience and mental growth, acceptance and gratitude.
I learnt the value of spending time with your kids when they can still fit in your lap and arms. The time you spend with them is directly proportional to the time they will spend with you later.
I learnt Not everything can be bought or preserved. And that we all have a lot everyday to be grateful for.
I have tried to speak of this in my post here — What are you thankful for?
I learnt time doesn’t come back so live while you can. Don't keep waiting.
I learnt Karma is a thing and it comes back to you some time someday in your life in some way. So, be humble, be good.
I learnt I love my family the most and would compromise on anything for them. Thankful for having a family that’s worth it!
I learnt He has us. That he opens another door when you feel all are closed and holds your finger but you have to walk on your own.
But I’m not at peace. I don’t like the feeling of not contributing financially even if in the smallest way. I know being a home maker means so much more than this. I know I worked hard and earned well during my earlier phases. Should I be enjoying my lately entered phase of life peacefully for the rest of my life? Why is it daunting for me to make peace with this? I am happy, I want to feel and stay happy from within! I shall soon speak my heart out about this.
Hey friends, talk to me!
