Mr. Cohart and Mr. Ophart

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I have a friend Mr. Cohart, nice chap but he is in a weird predicament, he is neither happy nor sad.

Every morning Mr. Cohart wakes up to catch the daily bus, and he is worried he will be late. Today, he sleeps in for extra 10 minutes, he misses the bus; now he is worried about having missed the bus.

Mr. Cohart reaches office, he switches on his computer hoping there is no message from his boss, especially that one you know, the one scolding him for being late, there, right there, he sees the message from his boss, reprimanding him for being late, it makes him angry, he does not like being scolded, now Mr. Cohart starts worrying about not being efficient.

Weekend comes, Mr. Cohart is to meet his friends, he is sitting at home and looking at his phone screen, he has had a long day, he does not want to go, he reads the messages types in all of the usual enthusiastic replies, “I am in”, “It’s been so long”, “What’s the scene”, poor Mr. Cohart now he is worried about having to go when he does not want to.

Mr. Cohart is at the party, he sees everybody dancing, he looks at everybody talking to each other, he sees his friends discussing things, now he is worried about what to say, he gets his drink, takes a big sip, after a while his mind feels empty and relaxed, he starts to dance, wow I feel good, he thinks to himself, finally I feel relaxed, and just then, he worries about Monday.

Mr. Cohart meets the woman he loves, she is very nice, he loves her very much, sometimes he feels like he wants to spend all his time with her, when he is with her he does not have to worry at all, he is happy, just then he worries about her going away.

Mr. Cohart got fired and the woman he loved left him, he wants to cry, but he cannot, he is worried about appearing too weak, he wants to call his friends, but he is worried about them judging him. Mr. Cohart is not happy, but Mr. Cohart does not like feeling sad, Mr. Cohart worries about feeling like not wanting to live anymore.


Do you think Mr. Cohart deserves a better life?

Do you wish he had another ending? I wish it too.

Meanwhile, let’s meet my other friend, Mr. Ophart.


Mr. Ophart is always late to office, he sleeps right through his alarm, he runs and reaches the bus stop, misses his bus, oh lord not again, he laments, but at least I got to sleep some more!

Mr. Ophart reaches office, he says hello to everybody, he switches on his computer screen, he sees that message pop up, his boss, scolding him for being late again, he is angry, jeez what a douchebag, he thinks to himself, why can’t he just relax, and then he laughs while typing out a deceitfully heartfelt apology, that will calm you down oldie, thinks, Mr. Ophart.

Mr. Ophart’s phone is buzzing, his friends want to meet him, he has had a really long day, besides his favourite show is coming on TV, he pretends to have a fever and stays at home, right now he is relaxing under his comfortable blankets watching TV, Mr. Ophart deserves it, he has had a really long day.

Mr. Ophart is at a party, he sees his friends, what a bunch of weirdos he thinks, he hugs them, they are into some sort of political debate, oh lord not this again, he thinks. He starts dancing, he begs them to join him, they refuse, he keeps dancing, he notices his glass is empty, Mr. Ophart gets a refill.

Mr. Ophart is with the woman he loves, he thinks she is too good for him, he thinks maybe he does not deserve her, he tells her that, she laughs, and gives him a tight hug, she promises she will never leave, he hugs her back, and tells her he has never felt so happy in his life before. Mr. Ophart is really really happy.

Mr. Ophart gets fired, and the girl well she breaks her promise, Mr. Ophart is extremely heartbroken, Mr. Ophart cries, he misses calls, and he stops going out, his friends start to worry, when they call him, he cries to them too, they understand, they have been fired and had people break promises made to them, they run to help Mr. Ophart, they sleep next to him, cuddle him, some laugh at him, but they are there for him, Mr. Ophart starts feeling good, soon he is back on his feet, missing busses again, sending phoney emails again and ditching friends to watch TV again, Mr. Ophart is happy, because he is not afraid of being sad.

Mr. Ophart is just what I call an open hearted person and Mr. Cohart a closed hearted one, go figure which one do you want to be.


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