The Art Of Saying No

The struggle to find the correct way to say no to someone is an art. Their puppy eyes and sweet words disable us from refusing to help even if we know it is just an act. It is not like we do not want to make people’s lives easier. But not at the cost of hindering our health, happiness, or comfort. It is essential to take a stand when people start using the goodness of your heart for their selfish needs. Being called rude for putting yourself first is far better than being a pushover. Here are some ways that can use to say no to people. But before we jump into that, you must learn to be confident and guilt-free while doing it. Prioritizing your well-being will not make you a self-centered person. Instead, it shows that you are ready to prioritize your body and mind when required.

Have An Upfront Conversation.
Stop being afraid of tough conversations. The more upfront you are about your thoughts, the better people will understand you. You have to learn to speak up your mind so that people realize your value. They often take silence as the answer yes. If you are not there to correct them, the load will be on your shoulder. It will keep on getting heavier the more you stay silent. Hence, work on your communication skills to be able to put your comments straightforwardly. Also, there are different ways to say things to different people. For some, you can be brutally honest. While for others, you may have to sugarcoat a bit. It depends majorly on your equation with the significant person. But no matter what, speak your truth and do not look for excuses.

Use Synonyms Of No.
You do not always have to say the word “no” to decline someone’s request. Use other phrases or terms that are more polite and subtle. This way, you would not sound abrupt or snappy. Here are some examples:

A) I won’t be able to attend the office party today. I have to run some errands.
B) I cannot prioritize your task right now as I have a tight schedule today.
C) I wish I could help, but I have had a long day and really need some rest.

Using the above sentences, you can say no along with an explanation in a polite manner. Being honest is the best way to prevent yourself from feeling any guilt.

Give Them Alternative Solutions.
There may be cases where you really want to help someone but are unable to do so. In that case, you can suggest alternative solutions. Maybe you know the perfect person who can assist them with their issue. Or you can leave notes for them on how to resolve it on their own. Whatever the solution might be, it will still be better than leaving them hanging. Also, it is the best way to help people without putting too much of your own energy. If you wish, you can later take the updates on whether your remedy worked or not. They’ll still be grateful for your assistance.

Offer To Postpone It.
If the favor they are asking isn’t urgent, you may propose postponing it. Talk to them about the real reason why you think it would be okay to delay that. Maybe there are other kinds of stuff that require your immediate attention. Or you want to clear your mind and take some time as your refreshment. Or it is teamwork, and the other person isn’t available at the moment. Stating genuine reasons will make them understand why you cannot put their task as the first on your to-do list. Moreover, it will not add extra stress to your life. You will have enough time to manage your workload.

Be Honest About Your Situation.
When a person is in a mess himself, helping others is the last thing they should do. It is their time to sit back and heal from whatever trouble they are going through. So if anyone approaches you during a difficult phase, be open about your situation. You need not overshare. But giving them a hint of what’s going on will make them know why it is not the right time to approach you. In fact, if they are your true friends, they will be there as a support for you. Sometimes, the best way to help yourself is by spending some time alone.

The above methods are reliable ways of saying no without hurting anyone’s emotions. At first, you might find it awkward, but with time, you shall get better. Putting forward harsh opinions in a polite manner is an essential skill nowadays. The first step to learning that skill is to know how to say no. Hopefully, after this blog, you will not find it difficult anymore.