unlinear

Specks of optic fibers like a fuzz all around me

conduits of life messages — — — vibrant energy between people

zipping all around me like I’m at the center of a spinning top

i’m untouched — — — grasping at the fibers as a dreamer grasping a rainbow

— — — wishing for connection — — — — feeling only the mist as after a wave crashes onto the rocks and cliffs around me. I feel the residue, but it’s not really there.

My lines are not crossing or connecting — they are going parallel to all the world around me. It’s like floating but I cannot touch down again to connect with the earth. Is that okay? Do I just observe this unnerving and at times lonely sensation? Is this normal? Am I supposed to do something? Should it make me anxious? Are there others like me?

More questions than answers as always. But I often ask questions that don’t have answers and that’s my fault.

I keep saying to myself that this is just a transitional time of my life. Just go for the ride and see where it takes me. Be patient — yes — my ultimate test — Patience……and I know that’s what this is all about…Teaching me patience. All the adages — “Good things come to those who wait” etc.

I’m learning my lessons and its exciting to know new things lie ahead even at this stage in my life. Those fibers drifting and dancing speak to me. They are telling me to dance — even if I’m alone and very sad at times. They tell me to focus on being my own best self at each moment and wonderful surprises will unfold — They say be patient and enjoy watching the minutes of each day as if they are the dust mots glittering in the shaft of sunlight.

And I’m trying.