Worrying Means You Are Suffering Twice
The curiosity about the future is deeply rooted in us. Many a time, thoughts that surround us are such — ‘Did I do right?’, ‘Could I have done better?’, ‘What will be the result of this?’. In fact, our anxiety and worries start right from our childhood — will I score in my boards? Will I get into the right college? Will I get placed? Is it the right job ?— Once we surpass this phase with fear, we step into the next phase with the other set of worries — What about marriage? What about kids? What’s about kid’s school? phew! Life seems like a big cycle of worries :)
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. The actual problem is small but we overthink and worry about the consequences so much and blow it up! If we were to keep a record of all the things we worried about, we would discover in reviewing them — that the great majority of our anticipated problems or troubles never came to pass.
A Solution Is Available For Every Worry!
Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years — isn’t it scary? There is a great difference between WORRY and CONCERN. A worried person sees a problem and a concerned person solves a problem :)
Some things in life appear to be worthy of worry. In such a situation every problem will have 2 sides to it (if you are in control)
- Can be solved— Think “ how” you can handle it
- Can’t be solved— Introspect, learn on “why” it happened — move on — see the next possible way to handle the situation.
If the situation is not in your control — Ignore! Don’t let your food get cold worrying on whats on others plate. Worrying about other people’s problem that's not in your control is a waste of mental energy — maybe it's not a big deal for them after all!
The moment you stop analyzing “how and why”, we unconsciously get onto the wheels on worrying — Few examples, say an argument— A resolution means that both parties sit down, talk, confront, find a solution to the problem(root cause analysis). Focusing on the issue, worrying and holding to egos only let the spiral of emotions down. Another neverending worry for many is Money — worrying is not gonna help in paying any bills rather think on how to invest time in working hard in reaping the benefits and why it didn't work the last time. Safety — a mother full of worry and fright until all of us return home safely is a real-time worry! But, even in this situation, there are things that can be done to eliminate worry completely. Though the situation of reaching us home is not in her control — we can find a solution to stop her worrying by keeping her informed.
Behind others smile there might be a story we all might not understand — Maybe it's a real problem but worrying is definitely not the solution. When you find yourself worrying remind yourself it’s not worth it — rather focus your energy on doing the best you can to solve the problem. Worry never solve tomorrow’s sorrow, it only destroys today's happiness. If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying!
Let me share a small incident:
We know a poor carpenter who helps us for the past 2 decades. I knew this passionate, hardworking man ever since I was in school. He earns his living by doing door repairs and in making of new pieces of furniture. A few weeks back — one weekend, after his tiring day at work, he visited home and shared his grief on his double shifts to earn for his kid’s education and wife’s health. He was saddened as his wife was diagnosed with some rare health condition and that doctors are on the edge of giving up hope. Mom without any hesitation took some goodies and asked me to take her to see his family, he accompanied with us to his small hut near the Besant Nagar beach shore. As we walked toward the front door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss. We spent some time with his family. When Mom and I stepped out to leave, he showed us a well-blossomed flower plant in this messy garden which was well grown — “Oh, that’s my worry plant”, he said. “I know I can’t help having troubles, but one thing for sure, troubles and worry don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning, I pick them up again.” “Funny thing is”, he smiled, “when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there ain’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.”
Wow! I was startled and my eyes were filled. It broke me inside. Lesson learnt! Sometimes we carry “unwanted” worries that spoil our day and the worst part is we don't realise its an extra burden! Life becomes less complicated when we realise to let go the unneeded stress.
To uphold a happy family and to excel at work — it would be wise to hang our worries at the doorstep before we enter our workplace and our homes too! Give it some time and you will realise many of it aren't worth your time and tears! If something is wrong at workplace/home — fix it.
Worry is thinking turned toxic and is dangerous! Overthinking and negativity distracts us from our goals, worsens our wound and doubles the problem. The easy way out is to acknowledge if you are either part of the problem or the solution — stop fixing the blames and start fixing the problems!
Remember! No matter how bad life can get, worrying about it has no effect whatsoever on the outcome.
Stop Worry! Double your concerns! Stay HAPPY!
