My roommate keeps repeating these words to me. What could he be talking about? My father passed 3 months ago and I was not able to go to his funeral. But I’ve seen the pictures and they were beautiful. White backdrop with red flowers.
Richard, my roomie has had psychosis from since as far as I can remember. He’s been on plenty of meds for it; but now, he seems freer and crazier than evar! I agreed to having him room with me because I needed help with my rent. I happened upon him at the theater and it led to this, renting a tiny house on a well nigh deserted street. Well, I prayed to the Lord on what I should do next. Only God knows…My mother is being cold as ever, and my sister is busier than any bee alive. I might as well say I live on an island along with my roommate, his dog, Pervis, and a few other “islanders.” It’s pretty quiet around here. Nothing much to do since we’re, you know, broke as hell. And Richard’s words resounding in my forehead over and over and over again: Luna’s dead.
My daughter’s name is Luna. I named her after the comic book “Fantastic Four.” You know, her mother’s name is Susan? She has powers of protection and stuff. Well, ever since I’ve been rooming with Richard, my worst fears are just coming alive. Could my baby really be dead? No. I’m sure DFCS is good about who adopted my child; but a girl can’t help but worry where her goddamn child is…It’s Richard, he’s trying to worry me on purpose. I just know it. That’s his way of keeping me at a distance.
I know I shouldn’t doubt the Lord, and I don’t; but a girl can’t help but be scared sometimes about her future. I definitely placed it in the Lord’s hands, and He hasn’t failed me yet, but maybe I’ve been mean to someone? If so, Lord, show me who it is and help me make it right. Could it be Richard? Is it too late? How do I make this right between my soul and him? And what was it that I did in the first place to make him hate me? I don’t feel that I’m at fault here. Was it something, perhaps, that my parents had done? But Ezekiel saw the wheel, way up in the middle of the air, so I’m not to blame for my parents’ mistakes…but do they know this? Hmm, that scares me a little too.
Then again, there’s the time I hit him when he was a boy in church and he went and told his mom on me. Then, they kicked our whole family out of the church…No, it couldn’t be that. Unless, someone got upset about us leaving and told the officials, meaning the conference leaders. Which, I’m sure if they did, they would of alerted us.
I really don’t know, but my dad had a hard time founding his ministry after that; but we managed to get by. Now, my mother is alone and my sister and I have one child each. Wow. Life can get so rough. At times, there’s nothing to really do but pray. And God knows I do…
“Father at this time, I pray for myself and my heritage which you have given me upon this earth. I pray that you open the eyes of our hearts, Lord, that we may see Your plan for our lives. That we may walk by faith and ever increasing trust in Your Word to save. Help us to understand why obedience is so important. How it affects our children. And grant us wisdom on how to better protect them. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Whatever lies ahead, we can walk with confidence in knowing that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. His grace is sufficient for us. He it is Who is saving us now. Believe it and trust and obey. Keep prayerful and the Lord will work wonders for His people. “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray, I will send them rain in due season, and meat to feed their households; and they shall be called blessed forever, the chosen of God.”