What is your role during a massage?

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When getting a massage, the massage therapist does most of the work. That’s idea really — having someone work your muscles and (hopefully) make you feel good. So there’s nothing for you to do right? Well, not quite — there are a few things you can do to make sure you get a fantastic treatment.

Don’t worry about your body:

We all do it, especially when going to see someone new. We worry about someone seeing our body without its usual covering of clothes. Women usually worry about hairy legs and whether they’ve had a pedicure. Men might worry about getting an erection (even in non-sexual massage this can happen — it’s about the parasympathetic nervous system rather than sexual arousal in this case). My advice is don’t worry so much, and talk to your therapist if you need to.

As far as our body, and its potential wobbly bits, it’s not really something massage therapists tend to pay attention to — we’re more concerned with how the muscles feel and what we’re noticing beneath the skin. Remember too, that the towels are there for a reason. Massage therapists are taught the art of draping — this means that only the area being worked on is uncovered. As far as women with hairy bits and unpainted toes — we also massage men, and they will (almost) always be more hairy and less painted than you will. Again, we’re noticing what’s under the skin. And as for that tricky male ‘problem’ — if it’s something you think might happen, I recommend wearing briefs rather than boxers to help give more support and show a little less. It does happen from time to time, and generally massage therapists ignore it — if you were to draw attention to it by doing something inappropriate, then it would be noticed, your session would be probably be cut short, and you would be asked not to return (there are places for that — a therapeutic massage room is not the place, respect goes both ways).

Breathe:

This is important, particularly when having a deep tissue massage or if your therapist uses trigger points. When muscles are tight they get sore. When a sore spot is pressed on, we tend to tense up and hold our breath. It’s a crazy human reflex that is counterproductive. When you tense your muscles two things happen. First, it’s harder for the massage therapist to work on them as we can’t get into the muscle. Second, it hurts more. Try it — let your arm relax completely on a surface and use a thumb or finger to press into it (not too hard!)…now contract the muscles in the arm and press on it with the same pressure. Which one was more uncomfortable?
So, what has breathing got to do with it? Our muscles tend to relax on our exhale. If you breathe in, then hold your breath, it’s very difficult to release and relax the muscles. However, if you take a deep breath in, then a long exhale out, your muscles will naturally start to let go and relax. It’s that parasympathetic nervous system again — deep breathing helps to engage the relaxation response of the body.

Relax:

Yes, that’s right, relax. We know that’s one of the reasons you came to get a massage, to relax. And now you’re breathing, so that helps…but you still need to focus more on relaxing completely. Let go of the control of your muscles. If your therapist needs to move your limbs, they will do so. We know that when you lift your arm up for us, you’re just trying to help. But don’t. If your therapist needs you to move yourself, they will ask you. But, if you engage the muscles when a limb is lifted, that really doesn’t help. As I said above, engaged muscles tighten, and your massage therapist can’t work them effectively. It also takes away from the therapeutic benefit of your massage — you’re paying for it, so don’t take away the value of your own treatment.

To talk or not to talk:

Communication is important during your massage. Your therapist might ask you if you’re comfortable, or if the pressure is ok. Be honest. If you’re too cold, or too hot the temperature can be adjusted or extra towels can be added. If you’re uncomfortable, and therefore can’t relax fully, your position can be adjusted. If the pressure is too soft or too hard, it can be modified. But massage therapists are not mind readers — we won’t know unless you tell us. Sometimes there are obvious signs (like a client is shivering or flinching), but it helps if you tell us before it gets to that point. Sometimes you might not be asked, or everything was ok when you were asked but it’s not now. Speak up. A therapist can’t tailor a massage to your needs if you don’t tell them what your needs are. By the way, no pain no gain is a bit of a fallacy too. While a therapeutic massage can, at times, be uncomfortable, there is no reason you should be writhing in pain (unless you want to be!) A good therapist will work with your levels of comfort, remembering that everyone is different. And each session can even be different, depending on what is happening with the client at that point in time.

Then there is the question of having a general chat during your massage. There are a few different thoughts on this. Some people believe it’s a big no-no and that the only communication should be about pressure and comfort — you’re there to tune out and switch off. Others believe that a massage therapist is the ideal person to talk to about what’s happening in life — de-stressing can be as much about the emotional release of getting things off your chest, as the physical benefit of releasing the muscles. Personally, I believe it’s up to the client. I have some clients that are happy to chat beforehand, but once they’re on the table, they like to switch off completely. I also have some clients that love to chat while they’re on the table. It gives them a chance to talk to someone about what’s been bothering them or can provide a distraction if I’m working on a particularly sore trigger point. I even have clients who like to ask me about me and what’s happening in my life — they tell me this helps them to switch off from what’s happening in their own life. It is also important to remember that people do form a bond when they see a regular therapist — after all, there is a certain level of trust in taking off most of your clothes and literally putting your body in someone else’s hands. Learning a little about this person you’re entrusting yourself too is not a bad thing. If you ask something your therapist feels is inappropriate they will tell you.

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