Susannah Doyle
Jul 24, 2017 · 1 min read

IVF

A series of strange decisions


On the bus to a routine hospital appointment today I cried. Not sobs so big strangers look concerned, nobody even noticed. Just some sad tears. Why today?

The IVF horrors of 2012 and 2013. That’s why. They sneak up and grab you by the throat. On the number 4 in bay 4.

Can we? Shall we? When?

How many of the 13 embryos are you happy to lose if we try this? ( Decision made in a layby in Holt at 8am).

Try again? Can we? Will we survive? Are we healed from the loss? The losses.

Two? Or one? One is textbook fluffy and the other a bit dicey looking. Stunned. No more capacity to choose. Or think.

One. The fluffy one.

Susannah Doyle

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