Why your unconscious is an elephant
Have you had any quarrel with yourself lately? Between the part of you that was planning on getting up and going to work and the one that preferred staying in bed all day?
Don’t worry, that does not mean you are suffering from a split personality. Already Freud told us that we were not masters in our own houses. By this, he meant that even though we feel that we are in control of all our actions, there is something else… this force called the unconscious which twiddles with us in all kinds of ways. Put this way, the unconscious feels like a threat in our own heads.
The unconscious is definitely obscure and it is not easy to grasp how it is supposed to drive our actions. But what if it was not dark and hidden, but something big and somewhat friendly? Like an elephant, for example?
Your subconscious as an elephant might sound far-fetched. But actually psychologist Jonathan Haidt used this metaphor in a way that makes it a lot easier to grasp how the conscious and the unconscious parts of your mind work together — and how you could solve their quarrels better.
Your conscious rider and your unconscious elephant
Take an elephant and a small rider on top of the elephant. The small rider stands for that part of you that does the conscious, controlled thinking — the one who plans, decides and analyzes. The big elephant, meanwhile, represents all those things you do automatically, without really thinking.
Let us take an example: Right now, your rider is busy with making sense of the things we are telling you. The big unconscious elephant, meanwhile, handles a lot of tasks: It makes sure you keep breathing and do not fall off your chair, for example. Also, while you are reading this, it automatically adds up letter to words and words to sentences, so that the rider can concentrate on the meaning.
The elephant was there in the first place
Seen from the evolutionary point of view, the rider and its abilities are a pretty new invention. “Language, reasoning, and conscious planning arrived in the most recent eye-blink of evolution”, Jonathan Haidt emphasizes in The Happiness Hypothesis.
That means that the elephant has been here long before the rider. Its specialities — emotions, automatized motion sequences and reflexes — have been perfected over millions of years.
The rider on top of the elephant brought some new interesting features with him — especially planning ahead. But he is also very small and weak compared to the elephant.
The elephant does most of the work
The rider has unique abilities, namely making plans for the future instead of relying on instant gratification. These abilities can lead to great achievements. However, they arelimited: The rider cannot spend conscious effort on several things at the same time. Also, cognitive actions such as decision-making, calculating or refraining from temptation consume a lot of energy. The rider can only do one thing at a time and he cannot do it for long. He is easily exhaustible.
The elephant, however, is strong and enduring. All those things it does pretty automatically — such as scanning the surroundings for danger, keeping an upright body position, reading others’ body language and tone etc. — hardly cost the unconscious elephant any effort. This is why it does most of the work while the rider can engage in a discussion, write poems or do his taxes.
The elephant is stronger than the rider
We perceive a rider to be in control of his mount. But who are we kidding? If the elephant has other plans, the rider can do very little. This is the root of most problems associated with “weak will”. The small rider might plan ahead, but if the elephant really wants its instant gratification — tough luck!
The rider should work together with the elephant
The rider has a bit of willpower that gives him control over the elephant, but it is comparably weak and exhaustible. If the rider wants to make the elephant do something, he should not try so by brute force. Understanding the needs of the elephant and training it accordingly is a lot more promising.
What does that mean, if we step away from the metaphor? “Knowing your unconscious elephant” means
- to be aware of your feelings and needs
- to acknowledge and work with them instead of suppressing them
- to understand that there is a part of your mind that does not care about plans or arguments
- to realize that you cannot change overnight without the compliance of this huge, stubborn animal inside of you
If you make your inner elephant your friend, you have a really strong partner.
