The lines above, as a woman, deeply affected me. I felt a lot from its semantics, and I would say the dialogue was skillfully written. And for a fact, it’s miserable to become a dreamer because it gives you false hope that will probably bring despair to you later. And the aftermath may be honestly unpleasant, but now let me tell you something.
I know someone who used to love to dream— she would dream to become a teacher, an author who writes books for children, or perhaps an illustrator. I remember that she used to love to teach kids how to read picture books. And she thought, maybe someday she would become an awe-inspiring maestra. And just by dreaming about it, she would be so happy to tell her mother all the dreams she wants to reach. I’m telling you she never fails to dream another dream and looks so passionate talking about them.
She was confident in pursuing them, claiming she’s lucky and would achieve them all someday. However, when you ask her, what does she really want if she were to achieve one, and what could that be? She utters the words “I don’t know”— what a silly answer it is. She keeps changing her mind without really knowing what she wants— or what that dream is befitting for her or simply out there waiting for her.
Nevertheless, she was brave enough to keep trying to find the perfect piece for the puzzle of her dreams. Although her pockets have pieces that have weird designs and are unfit for the missing piece in the puzzle. In that moment, she felt hopeless and lost in oblivion.
She was left broken because all the pieces that she could have picked was a mismatched in the puzzle. It was devastating for her to finally understand what it meant to be a dreamer. Yet she desperately clings to that small hope that somewhere in those pockets she would find it the one piece that she’s been looking forward to. I had wished her adamant passion and motivation hadn’t still completely vanished. I want to tell her that it’s going to be okay and that it’s okay to feel afraid. But I don’t want to give her that false hope since it’s a kryptonite of humans.
Regardless of all odds, I don’t want her to give up, not now or never, because there must be a solution, and she might haven’t looked thoroughly. I made up my mind and embarked on the mirage of darkness she built within herself, saying, “There are other pockets!” She shouldn’t focus on a singularity. I told her to look closer at the puzzle and see the bigger picture. I reminded her that there are different pockets sewn into her. I reassure her that if she learns to have a profound understanding of her self, she will know it. She should embrace all the misfit pieces because they are a greater part of her.
It’s miserable to become a dreamer— let me rephrase that: It’s miserable to become a dreamer and do nothing to fulfill those dreams. There would always be a way to fulfill them. Enhance the foundation of your motivation and actually do something good to attain it for your own sake. You need to be meticulous, because it can be an arduous process.
Who knows? You can be that “perfect” piece that completes the puzzle.
And if our dreams get broken along the way, we have to make new ones from the pieces.
-Erin (Derry Girls, 2018)
