How I Almost Became Tomi Lahren

If my conscience hadn’t stopped me, I could’ve become another bitchy blonde right-wing pundit.

The first time I realized I was a brand was in 1998. It was after I filmed the MTV reality show, Road Rules (or as I like to call it, The Wheel World). MTV had partnered with a company and they wanted to use me as the voice of the product. I was asked to read a first person script that said I was from a “small town in Pennsylvania.” Problem was, I’m not from a small town in Pennsylvania. I’m from Pittsburgh, and while it sometimes feels like a small town, it certainly doesn’t match the image they were trying to convey. When I mentioned the inaccuracy, they said, “It doesn’t matter as long as people think you’re from a small town. It makes you more relatable. We just need you to say the line.” So I did.

I thought the script was supposed to be about Susie, the person, but it was actually about Susie, the brand. The blonde, naive, virginal Christian character they had cast couldn’t be from a city. She had to be from a small town. And MTV wasn’t about to let facts get in the way of a stereotype.

Because I was on a reality show before the genre’s boom, I bought into the notion that the shows were about real, if highly edited, people. They aren’t. They’re about brands. People are complicated, but brands are simple. Follow the proverbial script, and…