Funny things I have seen in Surrey.
For those not from England, (and possibly also for the less well travelled in England), Surrey is a County of England that borders the South and South West of London. It is commuter belt country and the mix of easy access to the capital and quiet country villages make it prime real estate, except for Croydon, Croydon is a hole.
woman eating soup out of a flower pot. A trendy cafe in Godming.
A man dressed as a clown taking on (and beating) six bouncers outside a nightclub near Croydon, (it was the late 1980’s and was Cinderella’s).
A cow fall over. A field near Reigate.
A man kicking a frozen chicken in a fit of rage after dropping said chicken in the street. Then being taken away by ambulance with a suspected broken foot while being questioned by police for breaking a shop window by kicking a frozen chicken. Weybridge.
Two very old and very drunk homeless guys discussing the merits of brogues (shoes) versus welly boots when trying to fight off an assailant. Croydon again.
A ‘well to do’ mother demonstrating to her son, Emilio, why he should not lick a frozen lamppost, and then becoming irretrievably attached to the lamppost herself. Funnier still, the efforts of a small Asian man frantically trying to free her. Epsom — 2000’s.
Bill Wyman (ex Rolling Stones) being asked for directions by a group of Japanese tourists who had no idea who he was. He looked completely perplexed. Godalming again.
A young man, (I can only assume he was a squadie), running naked through the centre of Guildford with a blazing rolled up newspaper clenched tightly between his butt cheeks.
A horse with projectile diarrhoea ’unloading’ partly onto the the cream leather upholstery of the drivers seat of an Aston Martin convertible. Near Shere, on the A25.
Hundreds of broken bottles of fresh milk from an overturned milk float being pounced upon and lapped up by a dozen or more stray cats. Leatherhead, sometime in the late1970’s.
Former Radio 1 DJ, Dave Lee Travis aka ‘DLT’ or ‘the Hairy Cornflake’, being called a ‘cock’ and a ‘drooling pervert’ after an innocent hug with a very jealous man’s girlfriend at a Radio 1 roadshow. Location forgotten, but Somewhere in Surrey, late 1970’s.
A very serious keen amateur cyclist inhaling a large white butterfly while racing through some country lanes. Perhaps more funny was the dry vomiting and streaming eyes that followed the incident. Country lanes near Dorking, sometime in 2016.
I hope you enjoyed some of my memories of Surrey. If you did, please leave a clap!
