revisiting my break from the 24 hour news cycle.
It obviously wasn’t long enough. I’m thinking maybe a 3 to 4 month break from media — hmmmmmmmmmmmm… :) Okay maybe not — media is something I kind of do for a living. Oh boy right? But sometimes there is a time to do the thing — you know keep the main thing the main thing. Didn’t watch certain events on television because I actually felt nauseous. First time I’ve felt this nauseous in a long time. 9/11 the horror, or when the ferry in South Korea sank with so many children dying or when the plane in Europe was deliberately flown into a mountain.
I know I can turn the television off, shut myself off from the world. I want to. I want to go on a 3 to 4 month, okay more like 12 month off the grid break. Just to get away from it all — but what is it actually? When I look just below the surface of my “nausea,” I see Saltine crackers (unsalted tops of course) and ginger ale. Those are my go-tos. They help me feel better and I realize just beneath the surface of my nausea, at a deeper level, is hope.
Going off grid — is an option and I’m definitely considering it. There’s so much going on the world. Just to take a break from all the pain, hurt, suffering, fear, anger, would be nice. To run far away from it all for a while. But the timing’s not quite right. Is it? Because of all the pain, hurt, suffering, fear, anger — and the joy, the laughter, the love. As Ecclesiastes says there’s a time for everything. A time to laugh, a time to cry. For me this is my time to pray. And to pray A LOT!!!! :)
I know some people get tired of hearing people talk about praying for this or that situation, but you know — prayer is good. It’s what separates my heart from the ugliness inside of me. It’s also what reminds me of the great joy of life. The laughter of life. Prayer is where I find peace. It’s life transforming. It’s heart changing. It’s life giving. It’s a place where you can cry, yell, scream, shout, sing, dance, laugh. Okay so I only do the yelling, screaming, shouting part when I’m alone with God and usually when I’m driving. :).
There’s something about praying with people who care about you. Something about the touch of someone’s hand as they hold yours and pray for you. There’s something about praying that centers my soul. And no I don’t feel centered all the time, especially when I don’t want help, when I’m angry, disappointed, hurt, full of pride, distracted, in a rush, but it’s during those times, the most, when I go to a life group (small group in a church setting) or when I call my friend, not because I want to, but because I know deep down inside I need help. And by the time we’re at the end of the prayers — I’m there. The light comes. Then peace. Then love. :)