The Unhappy “Yes”. (,)
Things need not necessarily end with a period. There’s always a chance to change the period to a comma.
All that I have been hearing throughout my life is an unhappy “Yes”, as a daughter of a“conservative yet broad-minded farmer”.
Every parent goes through a lot of struggle, to understand the generation gap and yet they fail miserably. The word might sound fancy but trust me this gap is not something small.
My father is known for his rebellious acts among my relatives and now I reciprocate the same theory to him perhaps in a completely different way.
His rebellious part gave us all the freedom, only to some extent. To talk of certain things that weren’t usually discussed in others dining table or in common room.
We discuss politics; we discuss sports… Since I was growing up, my interest in unusual things (for a typical girl) made my time worst because neither of my friends were interested in discussing such topics. Most of the student were from very remote places as I, and many of them didn’t have the “yet broad-minded” father.
Where in both my father and mother filled the space.
Each and every individual is different and unique this applies in both inside family space and outside space as well. The one which works out for you might not work out for others. Because their belief and experience might be different from you. Dealing with this phenomena in the family space is such a pain.
“Freedom always comes with a responsibility” is somewhat agreeable when in my father is a believer of “freedom with restriction” (or) “restricted freedom”.
I always feel that freedom with restriction is “no freedom” at all. How can the word freedom and restriction can get along well in the same phrase? Isn’t it controversial?
Being “the first person” to do everything in your family is always difficult. Sometimes it could be an advantage too. You do not have any examples wherein you have to set the examples.
Here is where I have to tell you the benefits of being an elder one in the family. Because all the Tana’s you go through on a daily basis will make you a better fighter.
I made a promise to score more than 80% in my 10th class and my father promised me a return gift. When the result arrived it was 86% and everyone in my family were on cloud nine. My father promised me a computer with an internet connection whereas none in my family or my neighborhood knew how to switch it on (including me). Here is where my broad-minded dad comes in play. In my hometown, 2010 is the year where few people saw floppy disk and email. And, everything seemed very magical and mysterious to them.
Though my father knew that the internet had a lot of distractions, he trusted me and let me explore it. Again with a restriction that I cannot use Facebook. Here is where the restricted freedom came in play. This the simple example of “Yet conservative”.
Unlike others who used computers to play games and watch videos, I used it to learn new kinds of stuff and to explore the world. For me, it was a tool that helped me feed my curiosity. Things started to change slowly.
The exposure I got from the internet did not match with my college reality. It was always a learner/seeker of knowledge, definitely not from the textbooks & classrooms alone. I used to roam around the library and try to access the technical and travel magazines which I couldn’t afford to buy at that time. I spent most of my time in the net lab and attended all the technical and sports events both inside and outside my college.
For a person like my father who was a rebel in his own court is very protective when it came to his daughters. Making him understand what other external events meant for me was definitely difficult. Because neither his friend’s children nor my cousins did so. After all, I’m the rebel’s daughter, I did not give up easily. I pestered him to the core that he would end up saying an unhappy “Yes”.
All those extracurricular things involved traveling outside the town, sometimes weeks, away from home which was a nightmare for my father. Sending a 20-year-old girl out alone was definitely not an easy call for my father. Though he had all his own troubles and worries to consider, he said yes. “The unhappy yes.”
For a 20-year-old who’s school was 5km left from her home, collage 5km right from her home and who never stepped out of her hometown for almost 2 decades taking an unhappy Yes as a granted one was not an easy thing to do.
But all these activities brought a lot of change inside me and most importantly it didn’t reflect so well in the grades.
Mugging up a full book and scoring high grades was not difficult but I felt something better can be done in the time spent in reading textbook line to line. So I never wanted to be a topper/poor performer, I was content to be an average student.
His definition of studying and doing best is getting “good marks” perhaps the gold medal kind of thing. Somehow I did it and proved my point right, won a few cash prize and some awards. All these gave some confidence to my father.
For every single new thing that happened in my life, I had to go through the same “unhappy Yes” sequence. In many cases getting an unhappy “yes” is a ‘no’ but the struggle which I went through to make it right was not an easy one as a 20 year old.
Being a father of two daughters that too from a conservative background, holding society and relatives on one hand and his beloved daughters on the other hand, saying yes wouldn’t have been easy for my father as well.
There could be many reasons behind his “yes” but it was “unhappy one” because he couldn’t set his other hand free.
Years rolled by, I started travelling alone, became responsible for my one deeds (At least independent). Even now I hear so many unhappy yes in my life. But the struggle is not the same. I am determinant to make each and every unhappy yes into a happy one and in turn a proud yes.
Here, I took my father as an example to explain the unhappy yes situation in my life but he is not the only person I face such instances with. However, it is so special and close to me because of the emotional connection.
There are many happy “no”’s in one’s life and it didn’t matter because of the value or the impact that the person has in your life. Not everyone you meet will have same belief as yours. Each and everyone is different. Making your work or proving it is all about your grit and determination.
Whenever I come across an unhappy “yes” or a happy “no” in my life. I make sure I get to the roots and see the possibilities of “making it work” and try hard to make “it work”.
There is no compulsion that each and every unhappy “yes” or happy “no” will end with a period. You should always make yourself strong and fight the battle of turning the period to a comma.
