Hello 2016.

I’ve had a shitty 2 1/2 years. I’m ready for improvement. Happiness. Self-love. I haven’t felt that in a long time. Self-love. Not since I lost my way 2 1/2 years ago. Lost my pride, courage, my love, my passion, my heart. I lost everything. I actually chose the bottle than the love of my life.

Here I am, 29 years old, and I feel like I’m back to square one after all that I’ve accomplished. Like it was for nothing. I killed the girl I once was. Killed her with a bottle or two of wine a night. Slowly but surely she went faded. Now that I’m almost eight months sober, I’ve been given a second chance at life. I feel like a newborn baby. Not sure if anyone can understand that. It’s the truth. I feel “like new.” Like I get to start over again. It’s both refreshing and terrifying. I know the girl I was is inside me somewhere, but she’ll never get to come back. I can live with that. I didn’t like her much anyway. But she, I, is much stronger today than she was eight months ago. Heck, even yesterday… I’m much better. Stronger. Wiser. Meaning, it’s hard to win one over on me. I’ve been reborn. Given a fresh start. If only, he could see that. But that’s okay too. I’m content with my life right now. I’m concentrating on my art. My passions again. Myself. I don’t need anything else aside from the air in my lungs and a few blank sketch pages. Well, of course a pencil too. I’m breathing well. Freely. I can honestly say I’m CONTENT. Not completely happy, but who can be happy all the time? That’s just silly. XO.